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Using points and examples from the lecture and reading, explain how media has contributed to the misconceptions about the real world. v.1

Using points and examples from the lecture and reading, explain how media has contributed to the misconceptions about the real world. v. 1
Many parents believe that the crowded environment in regular classrooms can have a negative impact on the academic performance of students. Hence they send them to private tuitions where the teacher can individually help them to study their lessons more effectively and perform better at school. However, others believe that private lessons outside school hours are burdensome to children and it can have a negative influence on their academic development. Because of the constraints of time, the size of the syllabus and the number of students, school teachers may not be able to cater to the individual needs of all children who have different intellectual capacities. For instance, in regular classrooms, weaker students find it hard to grasp the formulas of mathematics and science, which makes these subjects difficult for them. Whereas, the teacher at private tuition follows the pace of the student and makes sure that he is thorough with the lessons. This means that the teacher has sufficient time to repeat the lessons in case the student does not understand it, the first time. This gives greater confidence to such students and helps them to get superior grades in examinations. On the other hand, private lessons outside school hours are considered, by many parents, as an intrusion into the time that children should engage in sports or other extracurricular activities. They believe that students are already stressed out after regular school hours and should be given time to relax, instead of taxing them again with more lessons. If they are forced into private tuitions they may develop a negative attitude toward studies, which would have a detrimental effect on their academic performance. Moreover, private lessons outside school hours are very expensive and many parents would not be able to afford it. After considering the positive and negative aspects of private tuitions, I suggest that intellectually weak students should get assistance from a private teacher, who would help them to perform better in school. But, on regular school days, students should not be burdened with extra private lessons and the best way to do it is, to find a few hours during weekends. Although it may be financially burdensome for many parents, intellectually weak students would greatly benefit from private tuitions. In conclusion, despite certain drawbacks, private tuition has enormous benefits for students, to perform well in their academics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that the crowded environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
classrooms can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
individually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to study their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
more
effectively
and perform better at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are burdensome to children and it can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
development.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the constraints of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the size of the syllabus and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
may not be able to cater to the individual needs of all children who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
intellectual capacities.
For instance
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
classrooms, weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to grasp the formulas of mathematics and science, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
these subjects difficult for them. Whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
tuition follows the pace of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that he is thorough with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
. This means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to repeat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
in case the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not understand it, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This gives greater confidence to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
superior grades in examinations.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are considered
, by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, as an intrusion into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that children should engage in sports or other extracurricular activities. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax,
instead
of taxing them again with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
. If they
are forced
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
they may develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
attitude toward studies, which would have a detrimental effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would not be able to afford it.

After considering the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
, I suggest that
intellectually
weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
assistance from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to perform better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
be burdened
with extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
and the best way to do it is, to find a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
during weekends. Although it may be
financially
burdensome for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
intellectually
weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
greatly
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
.

In conclusion
, despite certain drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
tuition has enormous benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, to perform well in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Using points and examples from the lecture and reading, explain how media has contributed to the misconceptions about the real world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
390 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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