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The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land become less productive. The table show how these cause affected three regions of the world during 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparis v.1

The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land become less productive. The table show how these cause affected three regions of the world during 1990s.
Some people argue that children should prefer the internet study material for learning. While, others thought that the paper based material should be available to the students. In my opinion, both play an important role to enhance the knowledge of a learner, but reading online is more beneficial to explore different areas of study. This essay will discuss both view points. To begin with, the vast majority of people are adopting online study resources because of the abundance of knowledge available on various websites. Owing to this, a child can access a wide range of up-to-date material to enhance his skills, which will ultimately help him to expand his intellectual ability. For example, Google is the best source of research. It is quite common to see that most of the students prefer online sources to complete their assignments, projects and presentations rather than books, due to unlimited data available at different sites. On the other hand, there are some parents who adopt printed books to teach their children because they feel it is more comfortable and convenient way than searching, analysing and gathering relevant instruction from the web. In other words, they think books are the best source, because it contains limited information and easier for their offsprings to understand rather than getting confused while searching relevant information on the internet. However, in other to become advance with changing technology, there is the need to develop competencies which will ultimately help a kid to complete the innovative world. The survey, conducted by an Educational Times, revealed that student performance is declining because they do not make efforts to develop their knowledge and only adopt the traditional method of studies. In conclusion, people often to use the internet to download the application material. But, on the other side, people prefer the traditional way of learning. The use of online application material is more beneficial because of abundant and updated information available on the internet rather than limited amount of intelligence in the form of books, journals and papers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that children should prefer the internet study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
for learning.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to the students. In my opinion, both play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to enhance the knowledge of a learner,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is more beneficial to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of study. This essay will discuss both view points.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
study resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the abundance of knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
on various websites. Owing to this, a child can access a wide range of up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
to enhance his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to expand his intellectual ability.
For example
, Google is the best source of research. It is quite common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that most of the students prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sources to complete their assignments, projects and presentations
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, due to unlimited data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sites.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents who adopt printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to teach their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel it is more comfortable and convenient way than searching,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
and gathering relevant instruction from the web. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the best source,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contains limited information and easier for their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to understand
rather
than getting confused while searching relevant information on the internet.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to become advance with changing technology, there is the need to develop competencies which will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a kid to complete the innovative world. The survey, conducted by an Educational
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "time"?
Times
, revealed that student performance is declining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to develop their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adopt the traditional method of studies.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to download the application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer the traditional way of learning. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
is more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of abundant and updated information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
on the internet
rather
than limited amount of intelligence in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, journals and papers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land become less productive. The table show how these cause affected three regions of the world during 1990s.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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