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The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projection for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant. v.1

The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projection for 2050.
There are two different opinions about how to educate the children to make decision of their life. One is to let the children choose what they want depends on their own wishes; however, the other is to teach them to make choices according to their importances. The articles will discuss both pros and cons of these two types of perspectives. The most important thing is not how they make decisions is whether they will know how to take responsibilities after that. If the children learned to make their own options on daily matters, they will be able to cultivate their independence. After the certain age, it is crucial for the kids to know how to make decisions without the permission of their parents on some simple necessity, such as dietary, wearing and their own way for having fun in their life. Children will be able to take responsibility for their choices as long as they know how to make their own choices. It is needless to say how those "mommy boys", the male grown adults who ask for their names advices, are mostly lacking of living ability since their parents are accountable for their life choices. On the other hand, it is also essential for the children to prioritize the decisions according to the importances. They will know the consequences and make right decisions. For instance, Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, dropped off the university when he realized the profits from making his own company. He knew that university degree could not satisfy his needs for wealth and money. Therefore, as long as the children know the accountability of the options, they will be able to pick up what matter to them the most among those options. To sum up, two different suggestions are importances for the children's education about taking priority and commit to the better options of their life. Children have to learn to choose in their basic living environment, but also need to posses the ability to tell what matter to them the most. They will be able to grow up as responsible and independent among the choices they make in their life.
There are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about how to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. One is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
choose what they want depends on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes;
however
, the other is to teach them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
according to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
importances
. The articles will discuss both pros and cons of these two types of perspectives. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is not how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
is whether they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to take responsibilities after that.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
options on daily matters, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to cultivate their independence. After the certain age, it is crucial for the kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
without the permission of their parents on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple necessity, such as dietary, wearing and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way for having fun in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to take responsibility for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
as long as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. It is needless to say how those
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
mommy
boys
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, the male grown adults who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
their names advices, are
mostly
lacking of living ability since their parents are accountable for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
choices.

On the other hand
, it is
also
essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to prioritize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
according to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
importances
. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the consequences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, dropped off the university when he realized the profits from making his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. He knew that university degree could not satisfy his needs for wealth and money.
Therefore
, as long as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the accountability of the options, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to pick up what matter to them the most among those options.

To sum up, two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
suggestions are
Possible spelling mistake found.
importances
for the children's education about taking priority and commit to the better options of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to choose in their basic living environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
need to posses the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
what matter to them the most. They will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to grow up as responsible and independent among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projection for 2050.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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