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The pie charts below shows the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year of 2010 v.1

The pie charts below shows the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year of 2010 v. 1
Learning literature is an indispensable part of academic life of children. There is always a debate, whether education about these written works of native place or another must be imparted to a child. According to my opinion, teaching local history is a necessity and values more as it aims to provide individuality to a person. To begin with, literature aids an individual to know about the history of his respective region. We cannot live if we do not have any information about the ancestors of our family. For an instance, an orphan living in my society is always bullied by his companions as he knows nothing about his forefathers. Similarly, Without knowing about our roots, we cannot enjoy life to the fullest. For an example, being an Indian, I must have knowledge about the freedom fighters and their struggle to get independence. This information is only imparted through textbooks in schools, to exemplify, NCERT books are there. If we want our children to know about their existence, we need to teach them local history right from childhood. Conversely, research regarding other countries customs and traditions is important if one wants to study or migrate there. Last year, my cousin visited Vietnam, this country was extremely new for him in terms of language, values and culture. Initially, he felt isolated and alienated, but after reading books about that, he was able to lead a prosperous life there. Therefore, knowledge of the foreign nation's literary works is valuable if one wants to settle there. To conclude, local research is valuable as it is associated with one's identity. But we cannot deny the fact that education about other cultures is needed if we want to move there. Hence, it is mandatory for children to learn it in schools and I completely agree that emphasis must be laid on it rather than foreign literary works.
Learning literature is an indispensable part of academic life of children. There is always a debate, whether education about these written works of native place or another
must
be imparted
to a child. According to my opinion, teaching local history is a necessity and values more
as
it aims to provide individuality to a person.

To
begin
with, literature aids an individual to know about the history of his respective region. We cannot
live
if we do not have any information about the ancestors of our family. For an instance, an orphan living in my society is always bullied by his companions as he knows nothing about his forefathers.
Similarly
, Without knowing about our roots, we cannot enjoy life to the fullest. For an example, being an Indian, I
must
have knowledge about the freedom fighters and their struggle to
get
independence. This information is
only
imparted through textbooks in schools, to exemplify,
NCERT
books are there. If we
want
our children to know about their existence, we need to teach them local history right from childhood.

Conversely
, research regarding other countries customs and traditions is
important
if one
wants
to study or migrate there. Last year, my cousin visited Vietnam, this country was
extremely
new for him in terms of language, values and culture.
Initially
, he felt isolated and alienated,
but
after reading books about that, he was able to lead a prosperous life there.
Therefore
, knowledge of the foreign nation's literary works is valuable if one
wants
to settle there.

To conclude
, local research is valuable as it
is associated
with one's identity.
But
we cannot deny the fact that education about other cultures
is needed
if we
want
to
move
there.
Hence
, it is mandatory for children to learn it in schools and I completely
agree
that emphasis
must
be laid
on it
rather
than foreign literary works.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie charts below shows the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year of 2010 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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