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The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national andinternational fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national an v.1

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national andinternational fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national an v. 1
It is an irrefutable fact that shopping online has become increasingly popular these days. In this regard, there is a possibility that online shopping would lead to the closure of brick and mortar stores in cities and towns in the future. This essay will discuss the possibility of this happening. To begin with, the vital reason for the closure of physical stores in the future is that consumers are quite satisfied with the unique shopping experience provided by online sites. This is because they have wide varieties of shopping options to choose from, coupled with fast and reliable delivery channels which makes most of the customers prefer e-commerce sites over traditional stores. For instance, recently, in Bengaluru many renowned stores had to shut down because of the change in shopping preferences of customers. Consequently, given the fact that e-commerce companies have entered into almost every sector, there is a high possibility that retail stores will eventually perish. Another compelling reason that the e-commerce giants will succeed over retail shops is that they have a larger capital base and lower overhead cost. These companies have an enormous net worth to afford substantial marketing cost to penetrate the market despite the competition from the stores. For example, Amazon has launched a plethora of drones for initiating faster delivery, which would decrease the manpower cost dramatically. As a result, although these companies incur huge capital expenditure, the income generated over a period of time is multifold which makes them market leaders and thus lead to the elimination of the traditional stores. In conclusion, it can be anticipated that e-commerce companies will acquire the entire market share in the future because they provide exceptional client service and are efficiently able to reduce the overhead expenditure.
It is an irrefutable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online has become
increasingly
popular these days. In this regard, there is a possibility that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
would lead to the closure of brick and mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in cities and towns in the future. This essay will discuss the possibility of this happening.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the vital reason for the closure of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in the future is that consumers are quite satisfied with the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience provided by online sites. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have wide varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
options to choose from, coupled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and reliable delivery channels which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
most of the customers prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
e-commerce
sites over traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
For instance
, recently, in Bengaluru
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
had to shut down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
preferences of customers.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
e-commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have entered into almost every sector, there is a high possibility that retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will
eventually
perish.

Another compelling reason that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
e-commerce
giants will succeed over retail shops is that they have a larger capital base and lower overhead cost. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have an enormous net worth to afford substantial marketing cost to penetrate the market despite the competition from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
For example
, Amazon has launched a plethora of drones for initiating faster delivery, which would decrease the manpower cost
dramatically
.
As a result
, although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
incur huge capital expenditure, the income generated over a period of time is
Possible spelling mistake found.
multifold
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them market leaders and
thus
lead to the elimination of the traditional stores.

In conclusion
, it can
be anticipated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
e-commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will acquire the entire market share in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide exceptional client service and are
efficiently
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the overhead expenditure.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national andinternational fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national an v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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