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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Remember to write in a formal style, and write at least 250 words. v.14

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this trend. Remember to write in a formal style, and v. 14
Childhood obesity has increased sharply in Western countries in the last decade. This trend is largely the result of a tendency towards convenience in society; however, its effects can be detrimental to the long-term physical and mental health of children. The prime causes of obesity are unhealthy eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle. In recent years, there has been an increase in the consumption of convenience foods among modern families. Busy parents with no time to cook rely on ready-made meals to feed their families. Such foods have little or no nutritional value, which can contribute to obesity. In addition, many children nowadays spend an excessive amount of time playing video games rather than playing outside with friends, which leads to insufficient daily physical activity. For example, studies show that children in France exercise on average about 20 minutes a day, compared to 75 minutes 30 years ago. The possible effects of the increase in childhood obesity are a range of health issues. With regard to physical health, it is known that diseases such as type-2 diabetes and high blood pressure are higher in overweight children than in their peers. These endanger the life of a child and may later affect his mental health. When children are overweight, they are also more likely to be bullied and ostracized by their classmates because they look different or behave differently. This can lead them to avoid friends in favor of time alone, thus leading to low self-esteem and depression. In conclusion, it is my belief that due to poor dietary choices and inactivity, obesity is a growing problem that can permanently damage a child's mental and physical development.
Childhood obesity has increased
sharply
in Western countries in the last decade. This trend is
largely
the result of a tendency towards convenience in society;
however
, its effects can be detrimental to the long-term
physical
and mental
health
of children.

The prime causes of obesity are unhealthy eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle. In recent years, there has been an increase in the consumption of convenience foods among modern families. Busy parents with no time to cook rely on ready-made meals to feed their families. Such foods have
little
or no nutritional value, which can contribute to obesity.
In addition
,
many
children
nowadays spend an excessive amount of time playing video games
rather
than playing outside with friends, which leads to insufficient daily
physical
activity.
For example
, studies
show
that
children
in France exercise on average about 20 minutes a day, compared to 75 minutes 30 years ago.

The possible effects of the increase in childhood obesity are a range of
health
issues. With regard to
physical
health
, it
is known
that diseases such as type-2 diabetes and high blood pressure are higher in overweight
children
than in their peers. These endanger the life of a child and may later affect his mental
health
. When
children
are overweight, they are
also
more likely to
be bullied
and ostracized by their classmates
because
they look
different
or behave
differently
. This can lead them to avoid friends in favor of time alone,
thus
leading to low self-esteem and depression.

In conclusion
, it is my belief that due to poor dietary choices and inactivity, obesity is a growing problem that can
permanently
damage a child's mental and
physical
development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this trend. Remember to write in a formal style, and v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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