Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v.1

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 1
There is no doubt that the number of young adults who suffers from weight problems has increased substantially in the last decade. This situation not only is related to several reasons, but also it has detrimental consequences in children’s future and wellbeing as well. One of the main causes that contributes to children’s obesity is the consumption of poor diet. In other words, fast food or ready meals which are high in carbohydrates and low in proteins are being increasingly used in many families. To make things worse, there are a number of parents who resort to consuming this type of diet because they are not equipped with sufficient knowledge regarding the side effects of junk foods. Another significant reason is the lack of physical activities. It is believed that the younger generation is less active compared to their grandparents, and less involved in sport activities, thus becoming more vulnerable to weight problems. Turning to the effects of this trend, the most obvious of which may be health diseases. This is mainly because the overweight children are often fully exposed to several disease, including diabetes, cardiovascular issues and mental problems as well. To illustrate this point, a recent study being performed in the UK suggests that there is a strong link between gaining weight and heath complications, especially during childhood. Not only this, but an additional consequence is often seen in our mental and physical health. So, if children perform less exercises, they will increase their stress levels and curtail their happiness, therefore triggering isolation and anxieties. In conclusion, despite being a new issue, this obesity rate is rising constantly in the past years due to the scarcity of consuming a healthy diet and exercises, and its consequences can put our mental and physical health in serious jeopardy.
There is no doubt that the number of young adults who suffers from weight problems has increased
substantially
in the last decade. This situation not
only
is related
to several reasons,
but
also
it has detrimental consequences in
children’s
future and
wellbeing
as well
.

One of the main causes that contributes to
children’s
obesity is the consumption of poor diet.
In other words
,
fast
food or ready meals which are high in carbohydrates and low in proteins are being
increasingly
used
in
many
families. To
make
things worse, there are a number of parents who resort to consuming this type of diet
because
they are not equipped with sufficient knowledge regarding the side effects of junk foods. Another significant reason is the lack of physical activities. It
is believed
that the younger generation is less active compared to their grandparents, and less involved in sport activities,
thus
becoming more vulnerable to weight problems.

Turning to the effects of this trend, the most obvious of which may be health diseases. This is
mainly
because
the overweight
children
are
often
fully
exposed to
several disease
, including diabetes, cardiovascular issues and mental problems
as well
. To illustrate this point, a recent study
being performed
in the UK suggests that there is a strong link between gaining weight and heath complications,
especially
during childhood. Not
only
this,
but
an additional consequence is
often
seen
in our mental and physical health.
So
, if
children
perform
less
exercises, they will increase their
stress
levels and curtail their happiness,
therefore
triggering isolation and anxieties.

In conclusion
, despite being a new issue, this obesity rate is rising
constantly
in the past years due to the scarcity of consuming a healthy diet and exercises, and its consequences can put our mental and physical health in serious jeopardy.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts