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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v.13

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 13
In the past few years, obesity has taken a serious toll on children's health, particularly, in western communities. A few suggest that, it has surged by almost 20% in the past decade. In this, essay, I shall discuss the insights relating to the given problem and provide examples as required. There are few main reasons for increased weight in western children. To begin with, the food consumption is far greater then their physical activity and daily energy requirement. In the USA, for example, an average child consumes ten kilograms of more sugar than their Asian counterparts. In the same fashion, their meat consumption is significantly higher then remainder of the world. Secondly, with the advent of the internet, the youth is spending a greater amount of time glued to their electronic devices than ever before. Furthermore, they are physically less active then what is recommended by the experts. Moving further, a recent report by the W. H. O confirmed that due to the reasons stated above, the health of the young is falling behind. As such, some are experiencing difficulties in learning, others are facing mild physical and mental shortfalls. Furthermore, obesity has led to diabetes in the younger ages the ever before. As an example, one in five kids in the UK now falls under this category. However, on the positive side, a few western countries are taking baby steps to eradicate this man-made crisis. In conclusion, while changing lifestyles can be blamed for increased weight problem in children, it must be recognised as a serious crisis and should be acted upon without any further delay. In short, children should be encouraged to lead an active lifestyle.
In the past few years, obesity has taken a serious toll on children's health,
particularly
, in western communities. A few suggest that, it has surged by almost 20% in the past decade. In this, essay, I shall discuss the insights relating to the
given
problem and provide examples as required.

There are few main reasons for increased weight in western children. To
begin
with, the food consumption is far
greater then
their physical activity and daily energy requirement. In the USA,
for example
, an average child consumes ten kilograms of more sugar than their Asian counterparts. In the same fashion, their meat consumption is
significantly
higher then
remainder of the world.
Secondly
, with the advent of the internet, the youth is spending a greater amount of time glued to their electronic devices than ever
before
.
Furthermore
, they are
physically
less active
then
what
is recommended
by the experts.

Moving
further
, a recent report by the W. H. O confirmed that due to the reasons stated above, the health of the young is falling behind. As such,
some
are experiencing difficulties in learning, others are facing mild physical and mental shortfalls.
Furthermore
, obesity has led to diabetes in the younger ages the ever
before
. As an example, one in five kids in the UK
now
falls under this category.
However
, on the
positive
side, a few western countries are taking baby steps to eradicate this
man
-made crisis.

In conclusion
, while changing lifestyles can
be blamed
for increased weight problem in children, it
must
be
recognised
as a serious crisis and should
be acted
upon without any
further
delay. In short, children should
be encouraged
to lead an active lifestyle.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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