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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v.10

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 10
Over the recent decade, it has become more common for children to be obese, particularly in the western countries. There are various reasons for this phenomenon and this also exert manifold negative effects on people’s health. One of the major reasons for the increasing rate of obese children is that they have a tendency to rely on fast food or pre-prepared meals. Although these foods are cheap to buy and very easy to prepare, they often contain a high amount of fat, salt and sugar. Overeating such unhealthy food would undoubtedly lead to the weight increasing. Moreover, this issue occurs as a result of children’s sedentary lifestyle. For example, instead of taking part in outdoor activities, they squander considerable time on watching television and playing video games at home. On the other hand, the impacts of overweight in children are severe. Firstly, children are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. It is abnormal to catch these at a younger age. Secondly, children’s mental health is seriously affected. For instance, obese children experience being bullied and teased by other kids, which may result in depression and anxiety. These issues not only affect harmful in childhood, but also may persist into adulthood. In conclusion, it is evident that there are a variety of negative effects of obesity in children. Thus, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise because of the unhealthy diet and sedentary lifestyle
Over the recent decade, it has become more common for
children
to be obese,
particularly
in the western countries. There are various reasons for this phenomenon and this
also
exert manifold
negative
effects on
people
’s health.

One of the major reasons for the increasing rate of obese
children
is that they have a tendency to rely on
fast
food or
pre-prepared
meals. Although these foods are
cheap
to
buy
and
very
easy to prepare, they
often
contain a high amount of
fat
, salt and sugar. Overeating such unhealthy food would
undoubtedly
lead to the weight increasing.
Moreover
, this issue occurs
as a result
of
children’s
sedentary lifestyle.
For example
,
instead
of taking part in outdoor activities, they squander considerable time on watching television and playing video games at home.

On the other hand
, the impacts of overweight in
children
are severe.
Firstly
,
children
are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. It is abnormal to catch these at a younger age.
Secondly
,
children’s
mental health is
seriously
affected
.
For instance
, obese
children
experience
being bullied
and teased by other kids, which may result in depression and anxiety. These issues not
only
affect harmful in childhood,
but
also
may persist into adulthood.

In conclusion
, it is evident that there are a variety of
negative
effects of obesity in
children
.
Thus
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the problems that are certain to arise
because
of the unhealthy diet and sedentary lifestyle
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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