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Some people say parent should encourage their children to participate in team activities in the free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say parent should encourage their children to participate in team activities in the free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 1
These days, there is a heated debate on ways to raise children. Many people say parents need to encourage their offspring to participate in team activity while others say children should learn to handle themselves in their leisure. This essay will discuss both the views, followed by my opinion. To begin with, children participating in team activities like storytelling, dancing, and sport, will imbibe themselves with the team working skills at a tender age, which will ultimately help them in their professional life in the future. For example, in my office, during tight timelines in project delivery, everyone in the team, work collaboratively and give their best to complete it on time. So, a child who has worked as a team with friends to build a building using blocks in school, will not find it difficult to work in a team to deliver a project at the office. Also, children who can handle themselves when they are in solitude will inculcate the ability to work independently and this will help them in the future professional career. For instance, during crisis moment, when there is nobody to help with the project at the office, we need to work independently and deliver the work on time. So, time spent on self-learning and will benefit the child all their life. To conclude, both views about parents encouraging team activities or self-learning are focused to improve children eventually. In my view, team activities and self-learning both are equally important in upbringing a child. In the absence of either of the learnings for children would lead to dire consequences.
These days, there is a heated debate on ways to raise
children
.
Many
people
say parents need to encourage their offspring to participate in
team
activity
while others say
children
should learn to handle themselves in their leisure. This essay will discuss both the views, followed by my opinion.

To
begin
with,
children
participating in
team
activities
like storytelling, dancing, and sport, will imbibe themselves with the
team
working
skills
at a tender age, which will
ultimately
help
them in their professional life in the future.
For example
, in my office, during tight timelines in project delivery, everyone in the
team
,
work
collaboratively
and give their best to complete it on time.
So
, a child who has worked as a
team
with friends to build a building using blocks in school, will not find it difficult to
work
in a
team
to deliver a project at the office.

Also
,
children
who can handle themselves when they are in solitude will inculcate the ability to
work
independently
and this will
help
them in the future professional career.
For instance
, during crisis moment, when there is nobody to
help
with the project at the office, we need to
work
independently
and deliver the
work
on time.
So
, time spent on self-learning and will benefit the child all their life.

To conclude
, both views about parents encouraging
team
activities
or self-learning
are focused
to
improve
children
eventually
. In my view,
team
activities
and self-learning both are
equally
important
in upbringing a child. In the absence of either of the learnings for
children
would lead to dire consequences.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say parent should encourage their children to participate in team activities in the free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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