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The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. v. 1
Road safety is major topic of concern in today’s society. Although I accept that punishing those who violate traffic laws severely is an important means of protecting road users, I contend that this is not the only way, as there are several other solutions to implement. Imposing stringent punishments on traffic lawbreakers is undoubtedly an effective method of guaranteeing road safety. This is because this may deter drivers from disobeying traffic regulations. If there are fewer drivers flouting traffic laws, the roads may become safer for all road users. This can be seen in the situation of Hanoi in early 2012, when a new fine for running the red light or overtaking without giving the left turn signal was introduced. As a result of this heavy fine, both the traffic accident and the traffic-related mortality rates in Hanoi fell considerably in that year. I would, however, claim that it is an exaggeration to state that the aforementioned policy is the only viable way of keeping drivers safe, and there are other resolutions to adopt. The first is constructing designated lanes for different types of vehicles, namely cars, motorbikes and bicycles. This measure is crucial in many cities in the world such as Jakarta and Bangkok, where most fatal traffic accidents happen when cars and motorbikes collide. The second is enhancing the safety standards of all vehicles on the road, which can be done by setting higher criteria for examining the safety of these vehicles before issuing number plates for them. Cars, for example, should be legally required to be equipped with at least four air bags and an anti-lock braking system. To conclude, while I agree that punishing driving offenders can help improve road safety, I am firmly of the opinion that there are many other ways of ensuring safety for drivers, including building dedicated lanes for different kinds of road vehicles and raising the safety standards of these vehicles. I recommend that all these measures should be adopted simultaneously in order that drivers can enjoy the safest driving experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is major topic of concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. Although I accept that punishing those who violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws
severely
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
means of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
users, I contend that this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way, as there are several other solutions to implement.

Imposing stringent punishments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
lawbreakers is
undoubtedly
an effective method of guaranteeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this may deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
from disobeying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
regulations. If there are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
flouting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
may become safer for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
users. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the situation of Hanoi in early 2012, when a new fine for running the red light or overtaking without giving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
turn signal
was introduced
.
As a result
of this heavy fine, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accident and the traffic-related mortality rates in Hanoi fell
considerably
in that year.

I would,
however
, claim that it is an exaggeration to state that the aforementioned policy is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
viable way of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
safe, and there are other resolutions to adopt. The
first
is constructing designated lanes for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
,
namely
cars, motorbikes and bicycles. This measure is crucial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities in the world such as Jakarta and Bangkok, where most fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents happen when cars and motorbikes collide. The second is enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
standards of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, which can
be done
by setting higher criteria for examining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
issuing number plates for them. Cars,
for example
, should be
legally
required to
be equipped
with at least four air bags and an anti-lock braking system.

To conclude
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that punishing driving offenders can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
, I am
firmly
of the opinion that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways of ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, including building dedicated lanes for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
and raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
standards of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. I recommend that all these measures should
be adopted
simultaneously
in order that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
can enjoy the safest driving experience.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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