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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 1
In recent years, the increasing crime rate has become a major concern around the world due to its substantial impacts on human life. Understanding the root causes behind criminal activity is key to finding solutions to prevent the rise of it. There are two main reasons for which people would commit crimes. First, the lack of education, either at school or in their family, is a decisive cause for not being able to find a job, which eventually leads to illegal activities, such as stealing or even murdering. In fact, researchers proved that regions with a higher rate of illiteracy tend to have more criminals than educated ones. Second, the punishment is not tough enough to act as a deterrent for those who would want to break the law. For example, Vietnamese women are susceptible to sexual assaults as offenders would only be fined a small amount of compensation for the victims. Nevertheless, there are also two best strategies to put a stop to the rise of the crime rate. The first is to provide citizens with access to education or give them vocational training so that they can develop skills required for obtaining a job. If the level of unemployment decreases, the crime rate will drop consequently, and people will live in a more peaceful society. In addition, lawmakers should enact more strict laws to punish the criminals and protect the victims. Plenty of evidence has suggested that the rising of fines for illegal activities resulting in the less likelihood of committing crimes. In conclusion, people commit crimes mainly because of the lack of comprehensive education and training, as well as the law is not able to discourage them from doing wrong. Raising the level of literacy and passing reasonable laws are the most important ways to prevent the rise in criminal activity.
In recent years, the increasing
crime
rate
has become a major concern around the world due to its substantial impacts on human life. Understanding the root causes behind
criminal
activity
is key to finding solutions to
prevent
the rise of it.

There are two main reasons for which
people
would commit
crimes
.
First
, the lack of education, either at school or in their family, is a decisive cause for not being able to find a job, which
eventually
leads to illegal
activities
, such as stealing or even murdering. In fact, researchers proved that regions with a higher
rate
of illiteracy tend to have more
criminals
than educated ones. Second, the punishment is not tough
enough
to act as a deterrent for those who would want to break the
law
.
For example
, Vietnamese women are susceptible to sexual assaults as offenders would
only
be fined
a
small
amount of compensation for the victims.

Nevertheless
, there are
also
two best strategies to put a
stop
to the rise of the
crime
rate
. The
first
is to provide citizens with access to education or give them vocational training
so
that they can develop
skills
required for obtaining a job. If the level of unemployment decreases, the
crime
rate
will drop
consequently
, and
people
will
live
in a more peaceful society.
In addition
, lawmakers should enact more strict
laws
to punish the
criminals
and protect the victims.
Plenty
of evidence has suggested that the rising of fines for illegal
activities
resulting in the less likelihood of committing crimes.

In conclusion
,
people
commit
crimes
mainly
because
of the lack of comprehensive education and training,
as well
as the
law
is not able to discourage them from doing
wrong
. Raising the level of literacy and passing reasonable
laws
are the most
important
ways to
prevent
the rise in
criminal
activity
.
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As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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