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The only way to improve road safety is to impose severe punishment for driving offenses Do you agree or disagree v.2

The only way to improve road safety is to impose severe punishment for driving offenses v. 2
It is argued that dire punishment plays a leading role in making our roads safer. While I accept that acute punishment should be accountable for mitigating the increase in driving crimes, I also believe that other policies make substantial contributions to alleviating this problem. On the one hand, there are several reasons why severe punishment could exert favourable impacts on dealing with this problem. The first compelling reason is that penalties like prison sentences or license suspension can act as a deterrent criminals and illicit activities. To specify, these deviant individuals would consider potential consequences if they are arrested, meaning that they will avoid committing driving offences. Another reason worth noting is that it could be fairer for victims and their relatives to see these criminals, especially those intentionally cause death, serve prison sentences. By contrast, they could protest and lose their faith in the legislation, and a looming crisis regarding crimes could be on the rise. On the other hand, it seems to me that several different ways could also be conducive to alleviating this social malady. First, it is immensely beneficial to educate people properly to become law-abiding drivers, As a result, they would realize that it is morally unpalatable to transgress laws. Second, a well-grounded investment into road construction could be carried out to help people avoid regrettable accidents. For example, surveillance cameras should be installed to curb people from driving too quickly. Finally, local councils should allocate their budget for building public transport infrastructure, and thus fewer people would need to travel by private vehicles. In conclusion, while I recognize that dealing with problems regarding driving crimes could reap significant benefits of dire punishment, I also argue that the expansion of driving lawbreakers could be considerably alleviated owing to other road safety measures
It
is argued
that dire
punishment
plays a leading role in making our roads safer. While I accept that acute
punishment
should be accountable for mitigating the increase in
driving
crimes, I
also
believe that other policies
make
substantial contributions to alleviating this problem.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why severe
punishment
could exert
favourable
impacts on dealing with this problem. The
first
compelling reason is that penalties like prison sentences or license suspension can act as a deterrent criminals and illicit activities. To specify, these deviant individuals would consider potential consequences if they
are arrested
, meaning that they will avoid committing
driving
offences
. Another reason worth noting is that it could be fairer for victims and their relatives to
see
these criminals,
especially
those
intentionally
cause death, serve prison sentences. By contrast, they could protest and lose their faith in the legislation, and a looming crisis regarding crimes could be on the rise.

On the other hand
, it seems to me that several
different
ways could
also
be conducive to alleviating this social malady.
First
, it is
immensely
beneficial to educate
people
properly
to become law-abiding drivers,
As a result
, they would realize that it is
morally
unpalatable to transgress laws. Second, a well-grounded investment into road construction could
be carried
out to
help
people
avoid regrettable accidents.
For example
, surveillance cameras should
be installed
to curb
people
from
driving
too
quickly
.
Finally
, local councils should allocate their budget for building public transport infrastructure, and
thus
fewer
people
would need to travel by private vehicles.

In conclusion
, while I recognize that dealing with problems regarding
driving
crimes could reap significant benefits of dire
punishment
, I
also
argue that the expansion of
driving
lawbreakers could be
considerably
alleviated owing to other road safety measures
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The only way to improve road safety is to impose severe punishment for driving offenses v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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