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The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. v. 5
Car accidents are increasing gradually in recent decades. In order to reduce traffic crimes, some people believe that stricter punishments should be implemented; however, I do think that it is not the only method to tackle the problem since there are other alternative measures which would be highly effective. A stricter law undoubtedly acts as a deterrent so that both motorcyclists and drivers will have to think twice before committing a driving crime. The full weight of law including serving a long prison sentence should be practically applied instead of just a fine or banning driving license. For example, there was a truck driver who was accused of being drunk and using heroin while driving hit and killed nearly 20 motorcyclists at an intersection in Long An City, Vietnam. He chose to crush 20 people than hitting himself into another truck since only by doing that could he stay alive. Therefore, stricter punishments are considered an effective way to punish who commit driving offenses. Although enacting a new law is recommended, there are numerous ways to solve the problem. Firstly, governments should invest money in installing speed cameras. Not until they realized that they are supervised do they control their speed. A lot of authorities worldwide have adopted this very cost-effective method. Secondly, it is necessary to conduct more regular vehicle inspections in order to avoid accidents caused by intoxicated drivers. Finally, education is a highly recommended solution which should be applied in schools. Consequently, the rate of teenagers who break driving laws will reduce significantly. From all the above-mentioned, the implementation of a stricter law is not the only measure to improve road safety. Commuters should be more careful when traveling to protect themselves and surrounding people as well.
Car accidents are increasing
gradually
in recent decades. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic crimes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
punishments should
be implemented
;
however
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method to tackle the problem since there are other alternative measures which would be
highly
effective.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
undoubtedly
acts as a deterrent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that both motorcyclists and drivers will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
crime. The full weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
including serving a long prison sentence should be
practically
applied
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a fine or banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license.
For example
, there was a truck driver who
was accused
of
being drunk
and using heroin while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
hit and killed
nearly
20 motorcyclists at an intersection in Long An City, Vietnam. He chose to crush 20
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than hitting himself into another truck since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by doing that could he stay alive.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
punishments
are considered
an effective way to punish who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenses.

Although enacting a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is recommended
, there are numerous ways to solve the problem.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest money in installing speed cameras. Not until they realized that they
are supervised
do they control their speed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
authorities worldwide have adopted this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cost-effective method.
Secondly
, it is necessary to conduct more regular vehicle inspections in order to avoid accidents caused by intoxicated drivers.
Finally
, education is a
highly
recommended solution which should
be applied
in schools.
Consequently
, the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
significantly
.

From all the above-mentioned, the implementation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
road safety. Commuters should be more careful when traveling to protect themselves and surrounding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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