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The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. v. 2
People have different views on how to improve road safety. While I accept that implementing harsher punishments can help solve this situation, I strongly disagree that this is the only measure because there are alternative ways which are effective and need taking into account. On the one hand, it is undeniable that stricter punishments could deter motorists from driving dangerously and carefully. The full weight of law should be applied in imposing a variety of non-custodial sentences such as heavy fines and the confiscation of driving licenses. Furthermore, for serious offenders such as driving while intoxicated should serve a prison sentence, because they endanger innocent lives. As a result, it is undoubted that people are less likely to commit a driving offence because of those harsher penalties. On the other hand, I would believe that there are several measures that can effectively improve the road safety. Firstly, national and local authorities can help tackle this problem by installing speed camera. This, consequently, could raise the awareness of people about the need to follow the speed limits. In addition, regular vehicle inspections should be conducted, which can play a significant role in reducing the number of accidents caused by mechanical failures. Finally, people should be offered better education about the importance of road safety, especially young people who are more likely to break the rules. This, therefore, could make individuals adhere to the driving rules. In conclusion, I would maintain that strict penalties are not the only way to improve this situation, and they should be implemented along with other steps to completely tackle the road safety issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. While I accept that implementing harsher punishments can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
solve this situation, I
strongly
disagree that this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
measure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are alternative ways which are effective and need taking into account.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that stricter punishments could deter motorists from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
dangerously
and
carefully
. The full weight of law should
be applied
in imposing a variety of non-custodial sentences such as heavy fines and the confiscation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
licenses.
Furthermore
, for serious offenders such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
while intoxicated should serve a prison sentence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they endanger innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
As a result
, it
is undoubted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less likely to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those harsher penalties.

On the other hand
, I would believe that there are several measures that can
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
Firstly
, national and local authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
tackle this problem by installing speed camera. This,
consequently
, could raise the awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the need to follow the speed limits.
In addition
, regular vehicle inspections should
be conducted
, which can play a significant role in reducing the number of accidents caused by mechanical failures.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be offered
better education about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are more likely to break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. This,
therefore
, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals adhere to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

In conclusion
, I would maintain that strict penalties are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this situation, and they should
be implemented
along with other steps to completely tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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