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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. People should work what they like rather than what they should do? v.468

People should work what they like rather than what they should do? v. 468
Every day a tremendous of tasks are listed for people that they should do it. Even though they do not interested in, but they spend their time manipulating it. However. I definitely dissent that people do things they do not enjoy it. I feel that people should invest their time to do what they enjoy. I hold this opinion for several reasons which I will expound into in the following essay. The first exquisite point that comes to my mind that people who enjoy what they do, they are productive. To be more specific, myriads people incline toward enjoyable work because they believe that they could make an eminent achievement in that work and become creative. Inventors, scientists, and researchers would never reach their target If they do tedious work or something considered to be boring. A vivid example to shed light on this subject. I will talk about my personal experience. Since I was a kid, I had passionate to be a scientist. Therefore, I continuously worked hard to achieve my dream. However, my dad compelled me to be an accountant. As he convinced that the scientist is not a lucrative job and it could not fulfill my financial needs. Thus, I obeyed him. Unfortunately, I could not pass in college and I felt so disappointed. Consequently, my dad felt empathy for my case. Eventually, he let me initiate my beloved career. Admittedly, I was luminous in my college and then in my work respectively. As a result, I was able to create a new element that could decrease the baby' s fever in a split second. Additionally, I was labeled as a cutting edge in that field. My dad realizes that he was wrong when he obligated me to do something I do not like it. Another point to be considered that a person who works a beloved job will attempt to promote. In this era, with the spread of technology, people try to keep pace with the swift life and contrive to grasp the job that they like. People acknowledge that when they are working what they desire, they could reach the zenith of their dreams. To illustrate more thoroughly. I will speak about my own experience in the work field. When I assigned in one of the biggest companies. I dreamed to be a manager in that company. Therefore, I took a condense course for management in the accounting field. Besides, I worked hard and stayed overnight at work to fulfill the work' s needs. As a result, my boss feels ecstatic with my passion for the work and my immeasurable achievement. Instantly, he allocated me as a supervisor. Admittedly, If I did not love my career, I would not upward in my affair. All in all, I firmly agree that the person should spend time enjoy what they do. This is because they could be productive and creative in their field and also because they could achieve their dreams and promote their position.
Every day
The phrase 'a tremendous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a tremendous of
tasks
are listed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they should do it.
Even though
they do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "interest"?
interested
in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they spend their time manipulating it.
However
. I definitely dissent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do things they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
it. I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should invest their time to do what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hold this opinion for several reasons which I will expound into in the following essay.

The
first
exquisite point that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to my mind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
what they do, they are productive. To be more specific, myriads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
incline toward enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an eminent achievement in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and become creative. Inventors, scientists, and researchers would never reach their target If they do tedious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or something considered to be boring. A vivid example to shed light on this subject. I will talk about my personal experience. Since I was a kid, I had passionate to be a scientist.
Therefore
, I
continuously
worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve my dream.
However
, my dad compelled me to be an accountant. As he convinced that the scientist is not a lucrative job and it could not fulfill my financial needs.
Thus
, I obeyed him. Unfortunately, I could not pass in college and I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
disappointed.
Consequently
, my dad felt empathy for my case.
Eventually
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me initiate my beloved career.
Admittedly
, I was luminous in my college and then in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
respectively
.
As a result
, I was able to create a new element that could decrease the
Possible spelling mistake found.
baby&
#039; s fever in a split second.
Additionally
, I
was labeled
as a cutting edge in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. My dad realizes that he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
when he obligated me to do something I do not like it.

Another point to
be considered
that a person who works a beloved job will attempt to promote. In this era, with the spread of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the swift life and contrive to grasp the job that they like.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
acknowledge that when they are working what they desire, they could reach the zenith of their dreams. To illustrate more
thoroughly
. I will speak about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I assigned in one of the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. I dreamed to be a manager in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Therefore
, I took
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'condense' is correct. If 'condense' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a condense
course for management in the accounting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
Besides
, I worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and stayed overnight at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to fulfill the
Possible spelling mistake found.
work&
#039; s needs.
As a result
, my boss feels ecstatic with my passion for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and my immeasurable achievement.
Instantly
, he allocated me as a supervisor.
Admittedly
, If I did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my career, I would not upward in my affair.

All in all, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the person should spend time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
what they do. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could be productive and creative in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could achieve their dreams and promote their position.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People should work what they like rather than what they should do? v. 468

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
498 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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