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It is important to keep old friends rather than make new friends. Explain your reasons and examples v.2

It is important to keep old friends rather than make new friends. Explain your reasons and examples v. 2
Friendship is one of the most important relationships in the life. It the light of our darkness, and the source of our happiness. The debate on whether maintain our old friends or make new one still controversial one. Nowadays, many are adamant that a myriad of elements should be taken in consideration before analyzing the constructive and destructive facets of this issue. Some argue that keeping the old friendship more important than making new one, while others disagree and hold a different opinion. From my vantage point, I concur with the former and aver that we should hold on our old friends. I feel this way for plethora of reasons and I would like to explain my reasoning in the subsequent paragraphs. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that our old friends are known everything about us. Since we are knowing each other from long period, they know the details of our life including our food, health, favorite colors and weakness points. For example, my close friend called Huda, we lived with each other about 7 years during studying in the university. Yesterday I got invitation for famous musician from my fiancé as a surprise for my birthday. I was at work and I have to be ready in an hour, I called her to buy dress for me while I had been prepared myself. Actually she bought very beautiful dress that similar to what I wanted. If I hadn' t had her in my life, I would have lost my happiness. this life experience taught me why we should maintain our old friendships. Another subtle point which deserve some word to say is that our old friend don' t need any excuses for our absence, they know that we don' t talking for a reason and when I will be free I will call her/him. For instance, I made a new friend last year and she called Maha, in the last week I had medical exam that kept me at home for a week without talking to anyone, my friend Huda knew that there was a reason and she just sent to that Wiam call me when you are free, while Maha sent to me multiple massages with very bad word because I disappeared without telling her. From this experience, I came to know the importance of maintaining our old friend because even if I had told Maha about the reason of my absence, she would have plain me for that also. To wrap it up, our old friends are gift that should be saved for the rest of our life. This is because they know everything about us, understand us, tolerate us and accept us as we are. I totally agree with idea that we should maintain our old friend better than make new one.
Friendship is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
relationships in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It the light of our darkness, and the source of our happiness. The debate on whether maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one
still
controversial one. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are adamant that a myriad of elements should
be taken
in consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
analyzing the constructive and destructive facets of this issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
friendship more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one, while others disagree and hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion. From my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, I concur with the former and aver that we should hold on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I feel this way for plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my reasoning in the subsequent paragraphs.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to
be mentioned
is that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are known
everything about us. Since we
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are knowing
each other from long period, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
including our food, health, favorite colors and weakness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
.
For example
, my close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huda
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with each other about 7 years during studying in the university. Yesterday I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
invitation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
musician from my fiancé as a surprise for my birthday. I was at work and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be ready in an hour, I called her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
dress for me while I had
been prepared
myself. Actually she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
dress that similar to what I wanted. If I
Possible spelling mistake found.
hadn&
#039; t had her in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I would have lost my happiness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience taught me why we should maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
friendships.

Another subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
which deserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
word to say is that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t need any excuses for our absence, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that we
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t talking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and when I will be free I will call her/him.
For instance
, I made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
last
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
she called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maha
, in the last week I had medical exam that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
me at home for a week without talking to anyone, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huda
knew that there was a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reason and
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wiam
call me when you are free, while
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maha
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to me multiple massages with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
word
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I disappeared without telling her. From this experience, I came to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the importance of maintaining our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even if I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maha
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of my absence, she would have plain me for that
also
.

To wrap it up, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are gift that should
be saved
for the rest of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
everything about us, understand us, tolerate us and accept us as we are. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that we should maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important to keep old friends rather than make new friends. Explain your reasons and examples v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
469 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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