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The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagre v.15

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. 15
Over the past decades, the gap between the elder group and the youth has never failed to draw public attention and provoke debates. Although the conservative lifestyles and behavior were favorited by that elder group, the issue as to whether affecting to develop of youth remains controversial. From my own perspective, I partially disagree with this statement. First off, the elderly have more needed experiences due to the undergone various difficulties and the issues. Some may argue that these experiences made from more and more mature that can give useful advises when was asked. This argument could be true to some extent. If they stuck in some troubles they usually can consult the opinion from their parents or the other elderly but this is not mean they adherent or agree with them is the best way you can do. Secondly, it is obvious that older generations have some ideas which are less useful and appropriate with the young group to adopt their lifestyles. Recent years, many people always expect to give birth to a boy who can maintain the same breed. Whilst there is an insight about the gender because the difference in behavior and the bias of society are abandoned. Additionally, more and more people believed that woman must be a housekeeper who takes care of children and do the housework. This is one of the mean reason why just only the man can become a breadwinner and pursue their career. However, they should take account of the fact that there is a number of women are the gifted leader in many domains. This example indicates that women should have the right equal with the men to go to work and catch up with their future. In conclusion, I believe that conventional values should not be neglect as it can assist in making the younger generation the productive members of competitive society.
Over the past decades, the gap between the elder group and the youth has never failed to draw public attention and provoke debates. Although the conservative lifestyles and behavior were
Possible spelling mistake found.
favorited
by that elder group, the issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
affecting to develop of youth remains controversial. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I
partially
disagree with this statement.

First
off, the elderly have more needed experiences due to the undergone various difficulties and the issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that these experiences made from more and more mature that can give useful advises when
was asked
. This argument could be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. If they stuck in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles they
usually
can consult the opinion from their parents or the other elderly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not mean they adherent or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them is the best way you can do.

Secondly
, it is obvious that older generations have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which are less useful and appropriate with the young group to adopt their lifestyles. Recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to give birth to a boy who can maintain the same breed. Whilst there is an insight about the gender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the difference in behavior and the bias of society
are abandoned
.
Additionally
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a housekeeper who takes care of children and do the housework. This is one of the mean reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can become a breadwinner and pursue their career.
However
, they should take account of the fact that there is a number of women are the gifted leader in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
domains. This example indicates that women should have the right equal with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to go to work and catch up with their future.

In conclusion
, I believe that conventional values should not be neglect as it can assist in making the younger generation the productive members of competitive society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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