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TPO 29 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement To improve the quality of education universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors v.3

TPO 29 To improve the quality of education universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors v. 3
I am of the opinion that income of the instructors should be increased specially in developing country such as Mongolia. I feel this way for three main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, some professors put effort to matter which is not related to their main job because salary they receive from the organization is not capable of satisfying their need. Therefore, they are not able to pay more attention to students with whom professors are working, which makes hard for students to get further advice from them. If their salary improves, they will be able to spend their time for the graduates. My personal experience is compelling example of this. Instructors of the university where I study receives different scale of salary depending on their degree or curriculum. In other words, some teachers have income which is below than par. Thereby, I have problems to get advice from certain teachers who are doing additional things while professors who do not expend time on extra things are available to meet with me and counsel me for the subject. Fortunately, If pedagogues whose income is not enough receives more salary, they will be able to recommend their students. Universities can solve the problem which posing difficulties to pupils and lecturers by spending more money on their salary. Secondly, most young people in my country tend to consider profession of teacher is not suitable to them because average salary is lower compared to other jobs. If universities start devoting more fund for teachers' salary, they can change mind of adolescents. Moreover, quality of teachers will increase rapidly because of competition among new generation, which will better the education of country as whole. For example, I wanted to become mathematics professor because mathematics and teaching are enjoyable thing. Unfortunately, this idea was changed as soon as study about salary of professor in my nation. If educational institutions start financing the salary, young people who want to become lecturer may follow their dream because general circumstance related to the income and their wish will coincide. To sum up, In my opinion, universities can improve the situation as whole by devoting more money for their workers. This is because more people would want to get teacher and prevailing teachers can fuss over on their job.
I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of the instructors should
be increased
specially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
such as Mongolia. I feel this way for three main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
put effort to matter which is not related to their main job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
they receive from the organization is not capable of satisfying their need.
Therefore
, they are not able to pay more attention to students with whom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
are working, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
further
advice from them. If their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
, they will be able to spend their time for the graduates. My personal experience is compelling example of this. Instructors of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
where I study receives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
depending on their degree or curriculum.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
which is below than par. Thereby, I have problems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice from certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who are doing additional things while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
who do not expend time on extra things are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with me and counsel me for the subject.
Fortunately
, If pedagogues whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
receives more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, they will be able to recommend their students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
can solve the problem which posing difficulties to pupils and lecturers by spending more money on their salary.

Secondly
, most young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my country tend to consider profession of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is not suitable to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is lower compared to other jobs. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
devoting more fund for
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachers&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mind of adolescents.
Moreover
, quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will increase
rapidly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competition among new generation, which will better the education of country as whole.
For example
, I wanted to become mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mathematics and teaching are enjoyable thing. Unfortunately, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as study about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
in my nation. If educational institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
financing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to become lecturer may follow their dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
general circumstance related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and their wish will coincide.

To sum up, In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation as whole by devoting more money for their workers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and prevailing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can fuss over on their job.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 29 To improve the quality of education universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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