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The old tradition of having a meal together get disappear. how it affects the individuals and community? v.2

The old tradition of having a meal together get disappear. how it affects the individuals and community? v. 2
The traditional form of taking a meal together get endangered in a few next years. A decade ago, people are conscious of having food daily with members of their families. It has happened in recent years, we see different people in daily routine and many of them are not able to get their lunch or dinner with their families because of their busy work life and late schedules to come home. Another, people who lived apart and far away from their families also faced a lot of difficulties to maintain a sustainable amount of connection and meetings with the different people of their families. The outgrown wants and needs of the human being make them disconnected from their loved ones, it actually ties them away and reduces the level of coordination and communication. The balance between professional and personal life get unbalanced by the time and it is only because people are not aware of how they managed work task and free days. They are unconscious about how their family feels and how they get stressed by living their life alone. they actually forget the meaning of togetherness and the old days which is cherished by them with their families. They don' t realize how this small thing makes a bigger impact on their liveliness. The disappearance of the old traditions impact over the people and their life very drastically, when it comes to joining family parties, lunch, and dinners; most of the individuals are getting scared because they hesitate to talk with the other members and feared to communicate their thoughts in front of everyone which makes them depressed and demotivated as well. However, it is also a threat for communities too, they get weakened by losing faith over people who are not interested and willing to join them, and they get dissolved by the time. In conclusion, the people who live out of their home or within the home, they need to understand about the importance of getting together every day with their family members, they make a healthy balance between their work life and personal life, so they have full time to enjoy with the family on their free days.
The traditional form of taking a meal together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
endangered in a few
next
years. A decade ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are conscious of having food daily with members of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. It has happened in recent years, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in daily routine and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their lunch or dinner with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and late schedules to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home. Another,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
apart and far away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
also
faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficulties to maintain a sustainable amount of connection and meetings with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their families.

The outgrown wants and needs of the human being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them disconnected from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, it actually ties them away and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the level of coordination and communication. The balance between professional and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unbalanced by the time and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware of how they managed work task and free days. They are unconscious about how their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
feels and how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
by living their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
alone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
actually forget the meaning of togetherness and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days which
is cherished
by them with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t realize how this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a bigger impact on their liveliness.

The disappearance of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions impact over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
drastically
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
parties, lunch, and dinners; most of the individuals are getting scared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they hesitate to talk with the other members and feared to communicate their thoughts in front of everyone which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them depressed and demotivated
as well
.
However
, it is
also
a threat for communities too, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
weakened by losing faith over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not interested and willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
them, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dissolved by the time.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
out of their home or within the home, they need to understand about the importance of getting together every day with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a healthy balance between their work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have full time to enjoy with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on their free days.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The old tradition of having a meal together get disappear. how it affects the individuals and community? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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