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some people argued that advertisement encourages us to buy the thing we do not need. Some said they inform us about new products which improve our lives. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

some people argued that advertisement encourages us to buy the thing we do not need. Some said they inform us about new products which improve our lives. v. 2
In the present scenario, marketing is an important and diverse tool for selling a product. one of the techniques of doing marketing is advertisement through newspapers, televisions, social media, campaigns, etc. some people argued that advertisement encourages the public to buy things that we really do not need while others said it gives us news about new products that improve our lives. I totally agree with the second statement because every day we see different products and their specifications through advertisements which alert anyone about discounts and offers made by the companies, directly impact on our budget and easy shopping. In one hand, the guidance and understanding provide on the media platforms to sell the products create awareness among the general public but sometimes it is contributing to overbuying. For example, Like we go to supermarkets and departmental stores where a plethora of items have huge discounts and sale offers that demonstrated as a lower in quality many times. Even we don' t put on those things in the shopping list but we got trapped and end up to buying it. This has happened when the material looks attractive and give us a pleasurable form of excitement. On the other hand, the launching of similar products by the number of buyers with advancement and need of customers are informed by the advertisement. To illustrate, the skills used for consuming a product is necessary given by the company, they make us know to how the particular product have their perspectives and consequences, how to be safe and take actions. If this information does not do by the businesses then we are not able to adopt the new things properly and may cause major injuries. Additionally, the rebates, policies, gifts, vouchers, festival offers, fraudulent and complaint numbers are always advertised, help consumers to acquire the right direction before buying. Furthermore, the equal product has differences in terms of quality, measure, price and more features which increase the knowledge of the customer to get beneficial products. In conclusion, I support that advertisement create a new the for buyers. However, it depends upon the consumers buying habits that how much they are eager or patient for purchasing anything. The nature of everyone is different and their habits too and by this, they decide what to buy and what to not which affect the power of purchasing.
In the present scenario, marketing is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and diverse tool for selling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the techniques of doing marketing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
through newspapers, televisions, social media, campaigns, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
encourages the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that we
really
do not need
Did you mean "to while"?
while
others said it gives us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every day we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and their specifications through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which alert anyone about discounts and offers made by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
directly
impact on our budget and easy shopping.

In one hand, the guidance and understanding provide on the media platforms to sell the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
create awareness among the
Consider using "public".
general public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is contributing to overbuying.
For example
, Like we go to supermarkets and departmental stores where a plethora of items have huge discounts and sale offers that demonstrated as a lower in quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. Even we
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t put on those things in the shopping list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
trapped and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up to buying it. This has happened when the material looks attractive and give us a pleasurable form of excitement.

On the other hand
, the launching of similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by the number of buyers with advancement and need of customers
are informed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. To illustrate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for consuming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us know to how the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
have their perspectives and consequences, how to be safe and take actions. If this information does not do by the businesses then we are not able to adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things
properly
and may cause major injuries.
Additionally
, the rebates, policies, gifts, vouchers, festival offers, fraudulent and complaint numbers are always advertised,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
consumers to acquire the right direction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying.
Furthermore
, the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has differences in terms of quality, measure, price and more features which increase the knowledge of the customer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
beneficial products.

In conclusion
, I support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
the for buyers.
However
, it depends upon the consumers buying habits that how much they are eager or patient for purchasing anything. The nature of everyone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and their habits too and by this, they decide what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and what to not which affect the power of purchasing.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay some people argued that advertisement encourages us to buy the thing we do not need. Some said they inform us about new products which improve our lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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