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The old tradition of having a meal together get disappear. how it affects the individuals and community? v.1

The old tradition of having a meal together get disappear. how it affects the individuals and community? v. 1
There is no doubt universities play a crucial role in educating society. However, while some believe that this education should be geared exclusively towards subjects that may be of practical use in the future, I would agree with those who argue that one’s choice of degree should lie with the student. Firstly, it is vital that universities equip our workforce with scientists, engineers and other Professionals that enable our society to progress. This is because a country without such experts is a country without the means to plan, create or maintain essential features of modern life. For instance, if we did not have a university-educated engineers, we would not enjoy such public transport facilities and infrastructure as subways, trains and bridges. The argument goes that if students are allowed to choose what they want to study, then there will be a shortage of these important workers. However, I believe allowing students to choose what they want to study is the only way to acquire motivated, passionate, and thus competent professionals. The reason for this is that free choice provides people with a sense of autonomy, and research has shown that autonomy is a necessary catalyst for drive and enthusiasm. As a result, students have the impetus to master their subject rather than merely aim for good enough. Conversely, if universities force students into one category of study, then the drive for mastery that would have come with pursuing their passions will disappear. In conclusion, although it is of critical importance that universities continue to supply society with professionals in the fields of technology and science, I feel that it should be the student’s choice to do so on the basis that this will give them the motivation to excel in their work.
There is no doubt
universities
play a crucial role in educating society.
However
, while
some
believe that this education should
be geared
exclusively towards subjects that may be of practical
use
in the future, I would
agree
with those who argue that one’s choice of degree should lie with the student.

Firstly
, it is vital that
universities
equip our workforce with scientists, engineers and other

Professionals that enable our society to progress. This is
because
a country without such experts is a country without the means to plan, create or maintain essential features of modern life.
For instance
, if we did not have a university-educated engineers, we would not enjoy such public transport facilities and infrastructure as subways, trains and bridges. The argument goes that if
students
are
allowed
to choose what they want to study, then there will be a shortage of these
important
workers.

However
, I believe allowing
students
to choose what they want to study is the
only
way to acquire motivated, passionate, and
thus
competent professionals.
The reason for this is
that free choice provides
people
with a sense of autonomy, and research has shown that autonomy is a necessary catalyst for drive and enthusiasm.
As a result
,
students
have the impetus to master their subject
rather
than
merely
aim for
good
enough
.
Conversely
, if
universities
force
students
into one category of study, then the drive for mastery that would have
come
with pursuing their passions will disappear.

In conclusion
, although it is of critical importance that
universities
continue to supply society with professionals in the fields of technology and science, I feel that it should be the
student’s
choice to do
so
on the basis that this will give them the motivation to excel in their work.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The old tradition of having a meal together get disappear. how it affects the individuals and community? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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