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some people argued that advertisement encourages us to buy the thing we do not need. Some said they inform us about new products which improve our lives. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

some people argued that advertisement encourages us to buy the thing we do not need. Some said they inform us about new products which improve our lives. v. 1
It is true that growing business and cultural contacts are part of the modern process of globalisation. While some people mourn the loss of national identity which they believe occurs as a result of this process, I disagree with that view on the basis that it is important to embrace change and accept new realities. The expansion of business and cultural exchanges across the world is a positive feature of contemporary life. Companies have broken into new markets by doing market research and taking into consideration local differences in consumer demands and preferences. They introduce new products without dismissing traditional ideas. The appearance, for example, of McDonald’s fast food outlets in Malaysia, China or Vietnam is not incompatible with the success of restaurants serving time-honoured cuisine. Such innovations do not necessarily mark the disappearance of traditional ways of life and to accept new customs is to extend choice for every consumer. Thus, it is an exaggeration to maintain that these developments will lead to the loss of a strong sense of identity in countries. For example, people in many former colonial nations have embraced change, but they still proudly preserve traditional cultural traits. In India, English - the language of the former colonial power - is widely spoken, but this has not led to the disappearance of local languages or indigenous cultural practices. Therefore, joining modern culture does not always mean that national or local customs have to be abandoned. On the contrary, enforced isolation from trade and cultural contacts with other countries will have the inevitable consequence of withdrawal from all the changes taking place globally. In conclusion, I would argue that the growth of contacts in commerce and culture is a positive development which will not destroy national identities.
It is true that growing business and
cultural
contacts are part of the modern process of
globalisation
. While
some
people
mourn the loss of national identity which they believe occurs
as a result
of this process, I disagree with that view on the basis that it is
important
to embrace
change
and accept
new
realities.

The expansion of business and
cultural
exchanges across the world is a
positive
feature of contemporary life.
Companies
have broken into
new
markets by doing market research and taking into consideration local differences in consumer demands and preferences. They introduce
new
products without dismissing traditional
ideas
. The appearance,
for example
, of McDonald’s
fast
food outlets in Malaysia, China or Vietnam is not incompatible with the success of restaurants serving
time-honoured
cuisine. Such innovations do not
necessarily
mark the disappearance of traditional ways of life and to accept
new
customs is to extend choice for every consumer.

Thus
, it is an exaggeration to maintain that these developments will lead to the loss of a strong sense of identity in countries.
For example
,
people
in
many
former colonial nations have embraced
change
,
but
they
still
proudly
preserve traditional
cultural
traits. In India, English
-
the language of the former colonial power
-
is
widely
spoken,
but
this has not led to the disappearance of local languages or indigenous
cultural
practices.
Therefore
, joining modern culture does not always mean that national or local customs
have to
be abandoned
.
On the contrary
, enforced isolation from trade and
cultural
contacts with other countries will have the inevitable consequence of withdrawal from all the
changes
taking place globally.

In conclusion
, I would argue that the growth of contacts in commerce and culture is a
positive
development which will not
destroy
national identities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people argued that advertisement encourages us to buy the thing we do not need. Some said they inform us about new products which improve our lives. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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