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As Earth runs out of natural resources we have started to look to space for solutions However some people argue that this is the wrong thing to do and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth To what extent do you agree with them Wha v.1

As Earth runs out of natural resources we have started to look to space for solutions However some people argue that this is the wrong thing to do and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth 1
As today's children will be the future of the nation, their development is of the foremost concern to everyone. There is a debate going on between two groups of people, where the first group think, that the family plays the most important factors in a kid's development. On the other hand, the second group says, that other factors, for example, television, friends and music, also plays and important role. This essay will discuss my personal opinion and both sides of the point in great detail. As children pass most of their time with parents and siblings, the family has more time to influence their children. It is specifically true for the small children who spent almost all of their time with them. As children like to imitate their parents, their behaviour also shapes the nature of their children. It has been observed, that if parents are nice and caring nature, their child also grows up as a loving and soft hearted person and vice versa. On the contrary, as the children grow up and start to go to school, their attachment to their family starts to decrease. They develop their own taste of music and movies. Moreover, their friend circle starts to grow, which influences their behaviour a lot. A recent study has shown, that friend circle has more impact on younger generation than anything else. For example, if someone is a smoker, then his peers are also influenced to smoke. To sum up, in my opinion, both family and friends exert powerful impact on the development of children. In the early days of a child, the influence of a family is at its peak and as the child enters into school, the impact of his friends starts to grow gradually.
As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be the future of the nation, their development is of the foremost concern to everyone. There is a debate going on between two groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, where the
first
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in a kid's development.
On the other hand
, the second group says, that other factors,
for example
, television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and music,
also
plays and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. This essay will discuss my personal opinion and both sides of the point in great detail.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pass most of their time with parents and siblings, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has more time to influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
specifically
true for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spent almost all of their time with them. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to imitate their parents, their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
also
shapes the nature of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It has
been observed
, that if parents are nice and caring nature, their child
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grows
up as a loving and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
soft hearted
person and vice versa.

On the contrary
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
up and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to go to school, their attachment to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starts
to decrease. They develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
taste of music and movies.
Moreover
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
circle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
, which influences their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
a lot. A recent study has shown, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
circle has more impact on younger generation than anything else.
For example
, if someone is a smoker, then his peers are
also
influenced to smoke.

To sum up, in my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
exert powerful impact on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In the early days of a child, the influence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is at its peak and as the child enters into school, the impact of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
gradually
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As Earth runs out of natural resources we have started to look to space for solutions However some people argue that this is the wrong thing to do and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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