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The number of people at risk of serious health problem due to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? What can be done to solve the issue? v.2

The number of people at risk of serious health problem due to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? What can be done to solve the issue? v. 2
It is often argued that serious diseases like high blood pressure, obesity among the young people due to high body weight. There is a myriad reason for this issue. I will discuss some of them in this essay. It is a bitter truth that society is facing crucial health-related issues because of the unhealthy lifestyle, missing the ample physical activities and diet in daily routine. Nowadays, the pace of life is very fast so people do not have enough time to cook food and dependent on the fast food most of the time. Additionally, physical movement in daily life is almost disappeared after booming technology revolution. For instant, A statistic of the recently conducted research indicate that 60 percent people in developed country suffering heart related problem due to their sedentary life style. By this way people is inviting the diseases which can not be easily cured. However, people can avoid this deplorable condition by taking some measuring steps in their daily lifestyle. Physical exercise is the best solution to keep away diseases related to overweight. For instant, a research indicated that if you spent 20 minutes only for exercise daily then you can save yourself by almost all the major diseases. Moreover healthy diet can help a lot. People should take the green vegetables and fruits as much as possible and be away from the fried and heavy calorie foods. In conclusion, It is always fruitful thought to be healthy and fit and avoid the unnecessary stress of the physical problems. I believe that a regular habit and some healthy measure can be help in this and it will be make you wealthy eventually.
It is
often
argued that serious
diseases
like high blood pressure, obesity among the young
people
due to high body weight. There is a myriad reason for this issue. I will discuss
some
of them in this essay.

It is a bitter truth that society is facing crucial health-related issues
because
of the unhealthy lifestyle, missing the ample
physical
activities and diet in
daily
routine. Nowadays, the pace of life is
very
fast
so
people
do not have
enough
time to cook food and dependent on the
fast
food most of the time.
Additionally
,
physical
movement in
daily
life is almost disappeared after booming technology revolution. For instant, A statistic of the recently conducted research indicate that 60 percent
people
in
developed country
suffering heart related problem due to their sedentary life style. By this way
people
is
inviting the
diseases
which can not be
easily
cured.

However
,
people
can avoid this deplorable condition by taking
some
measuring steps in their
daily
lifestyle.
Physical
exercise is the best solution to
keep
away
diseases
related to overweight. For instant,
a research
indicated that if you spent 20 minutes
only
for exercise
daily
then you can save yourself by almost all the major
diseases
.
Moreover
healthy diet can
help
a lot.
People
should take the green vegetables and fruits as much as possible and be away from the fried and heavy calorie foods.

In conclusion
, It is always fruitful
thought
to be healthy and fit and avoid the unnecessary
stress
of the
physical
problems. I believe that a regular habit and
some
healthy measure can be
help
in this and it will be
make
you wealthy
eventually
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of people at risk of serious health problem due to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? What can be done to solve the issue? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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