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The number of older people is increasing. Some people think it will cause the problm to their countries, others believe this group is important to society. Both views v.3

The number of older people is increasing. Some people think it will cause the problm to their countries, others believe this group is important to society. Both views v. 3
It is a controversial issue whether that elder citizens are beneficial for the countries Or not. This essay will discuss both the arguments in the upcoming paragraphs. To start with, there are multifarious advantages of elders. The predominant one is, they have much knowledge and experience, which are necessary for the progress of the nation. To add more, they can guide their juniors with an effective way that how can they work, which methods are beneficial to increase the income and what things should they avoid. Moreover, others work as a security guard. To illustrate, in the contemporary era, a majority of people are workaholic and they have need to lock their homes, when they go at job place, however if senior citizens live with their children, then the individuals would not fear of theft in their residence as older people would supervise. On the other hand, despite having an advantages a few drawbacks also. First of all, mostly alders are stuff from various ailments because of this they have need of doctors for treatment. Furthermore, they have not stamina to do work and they have dependant completed, most of the money spend on the elders and youngsters prefer to send their parents in old age homes. In conclusion, it is clear that seniors are role models for their youngster's by providing knowledge and experience, but they rely on their children in old age due to this person face some difficulties.
It is a controversial issue whether that elder citizens are beneficial for the countries Or not. This essay will discuss both the arguments in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
start
with, there are multifarious advantages of elders. The predominant one is, they have much knowledge and experience, which are necessary for the progress of the nation. To
add
more, they can guide their juniors with an effective way that how can they work, which methods are beneficial to increase the income and what things should they avoid.
Moreover
, others work as a security guard. To illustrate, in the contemporary era, a majority of
people
are
workaholic and
they have need to lock their homes, when they go at job place,
however
if senior citizens
live
with their children, then the individuals would not fear of theft in their residence as older
people
would supervise.

On the other hand
, despite having
an advantages
a few drawbacks
also
.
First of all
,
mostly
alders are stuff from various ailments
because of this
they have need of doctors for treatment.
Furthermore
, they have not stamina to do
work and
they have
dependant
completed, most of the money spend on the elders and youngsters prefer to
send
their parents in
old
age homes.

In conclusion
, it is
clear
that seniors are role models for their youngster's by providing knowledge and experience,
but
they rely on their children in
old
age due to this person face
some
difficulties.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of older people is increasing. Some people think it will cause the problm to their countries, others believe this group is important to society. Both views v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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