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The number of elderly people in the world is increasing What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend v.1

The number of elderly people in the world is increasing What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend v. 1
There is an increasing number of older people in many countries around the world. I believe that this trend could have both negative and positive impacts on society. The main disadvantageous effect relates to the anticipated additional financial costs for pensions, healthcare. In addition, government have to develop custodial services associated with older age structures such as nursing homes, hospitals, public transportation. Meanwhile, the number of young people could be highly decreased so that there will be not enough young people earning the money and paying taxes. The budget on the social security is getting higher and higher while the growing amount of tax income from young labour is more and more decreasing. Thus, the ageing population create a significant economic burden in these countries. There are also advantages to having an older population, these are often overlooked. The elderly people, obviously, are more experienced and exceptional in certain areas than younger generation and so the society can benefit from them. For example, health practitioners who are aged over 50 year-old are more likely highly-skilled than young doctors. This is because they have studied more cases as their age rose, which means that they not only cure the conventional health problems but also treat some usual diseases with alternative therapies. The second positive effect is that ageing population encourages more young immigrants because of open border policies, especially developed countries like Britain or American. These immigration policies will help draw top talent in other countries and improve public finances. In conclusion, the increase in older population will have both beneficial and detrimental consequences on economy and on society.
There is an increasing number of
older
people
in
many
countries around the world. I believe that this trend could have both
negative
and
positive
impacts on society.

The main disadvantageous effect relates to the anticipated additional financial costs for pensions, healthcare.
In addition
,
government
have to
develop custodial services associated with
older
age structures such as nursing homes, hospitals, public transportation. Meanwhile, the number of
young
people
could be
highly
decreased
so
that there will be not
enough
young
people
earning the money and paying taxes. The budget on the social security is getting higher and higher while the growing amount of tax income from
young
labour
is more and more decreasing.
Thus
, the
ageing
population
create a significant economic burden in these countries.

There are
also
advantages to having an
older
population
, these are
often
overlooked. The elderly
people
,
obviously
, are more experienced and exceptional in certain areas than younger generation and
so
the society can benefit from them.
For example
, health practitioners who
are aged
over 50 year-
old
are more likely
highly
-skilled than
young
doctors. This is
because
they have studied more cases as their age rose, which means that they not
only
cure the conventional health problems
but
also
treat
some
usual diseases with alternative therapies. The second
positive
effect is that
ageing
population
encourages more
young
immigrants
because
of open border policies,
especially
developed countries
like Britain or American. These immigration policies will
help
draw top talent in other countries and
improve
public finances.

In conclusion
, the increase in
older
population
will have both beneficial and detrimental consequences on economy and on society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of elderly people in the world is increasing What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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