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In many countries, the elderly proportion of the population is increasing steadily. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society? v.1

In many countries, the elderly proportion of the population is increasing steadily. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society? v. 1
Everyone on this planet earth is unique and has peculiar talent. The rare thing is the courage to follow it and thrive through it. Few people believe that struggle and effort invested in children to make them better sportsman or musician, while others believe that the gift given by god outweigh it. I opine that learnt talent with interest will make a significant importance. It is well known fact that, if a person create a mindset to achieve specific goals and give full effort, no magic can stop him to get succeed. Similarly, if a child grew up in an environment where their parent involved him in certain sport and developed his interest in it, It is likely for that child to pursue it. Moreover, there are various methods available and applied by guardian to develop subconscious mind of a kid to divert and think about achieving success in it. In addition, personal interest makes a huge impact, it can lead to go into the depth of field. However, few people have skill from the birth. In fact, to rephrase the same thing, a talent to learn quickly in specific fields like music or sport. There can be certain reasons for that but major reason is the way they grew up or they have seen their relative or parent to pursue the same art and they know the path to adapt it quickly. Due to this, it makes sense for them to take the skill onto the next level and achieve more respect from the world. To put this in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, whether the latent is quick to learn or to adapt with struggle, self realisation and self interest to learn and follow a passion will always lead to enormous contribution into that field.
Everyone on this planet earth is unique and has peculiar talent. The rare thing is the courage to follow it and thrive through it. Few
people
believe that struggle and effort invested in children to
make
them better sportsman or musician, while others believe that the gift
given
by god outweigh it. I opine that
learnt
talent with
interest
will
make
a significant importance.

It is well known fact that, if a person create a mindset to achieve specific goals and give full effort, no magic can
stop
him to
get
succeed.
Similarly
, if a child grew up in an environment where their parent involved him in certain sport and developed his
interest
in it, It is likely for that child to pursue it.
Moreover
, there are various methods available and applied by guardian to develop subconscious mind of a kid to divert and
think
about achieving success in it.
In addition
, personal
interest
makes
a huge impact, it can lead to go into the depth of field.

However
, few
people
have
skill
from the birth. In fact, to rephrase the same thing, a talent to learn
quickly
in specific fields like music or sport. There can be certain reasons for that
but
major reason is the way they grew
up or
they have
seen
their relative or parent to pursue the same
art and
they know the path to adapt it
quickly
. Due to this, it
makes
sense for them to take the
skill
onto the
next
level and achieve more respect from the world.

To put this in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, whether the latent is quick to learn or to adapt with struggle, self
realisation
and self
interest
to learn and follow a passion will always lead to enormous contribution into that field.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the elderly proportion of the population is increasing steadily. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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