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The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend? v.1

The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend? v. 1
In this day and age, the quantity of the world’s ageing population is constantly growing. This trend would create certain benefits, but there will also be some drawbacks. On the one hand, it is clear that the rising of elderly people would create several advantages. One evident strength is that the ageing society makes beneficial contributions to the community through their services. In other words, they still continue working on their own ability, easily look after the kids and do the tasks of daily living while their parents need to concentrate on their occupations. Furthermore, being the more experienced people for ages, career, the elderly impart knowledge to the youngsters. For example, when the youth is in deep water and do not know how to tackle the issue, they desire to be advised from someone much seasoned practice than they. On the other hand, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise. First, the growing proportion of elders in the population opens questions how to finance them greatly after retirement. This means that more pension requirements and brings about the cost to the Government. Second, older people more prone to illnesses and ailments. In particular, the rising number of sick people, will put pressure on healthcare facilities, which might not be able to address the demand, such as not enough housing or nursery homes and so forth. Last but not least, there are more familial and social conflicts due to the generation gap and resentment of the young against the old. To sum up, there are plus points to age community regarding their positive contributions and experiences of the community. However, the downside would emerge consequently in terms of a burden on infrastructure, welfare system and more familial displeasure. In order that, the society needs to pay attention more to this issue.
In this day and age, the quantity of the world’s
ageing
population is
constantly
growing. This trend would create certain benefits,
but
there will
also
be
some
drawbacks.

On the one hand, it is
clear
that the rising of elderly
people
would create several advantages. One evident strength is that the
ageing
society
makes
beneficial contributions to the community through their services.
In other words
, they
still
continue working on their
own
ability,
easily
look after the kids and do the tasks of daily living while their parents need to concentrate on their occupations.
Furthermore
, being the more experienced
people
for ages, career, the elderly impart knowledge to the youngsters.
For example
, when the youth is in deep water and do not know how to tackle the issue, they desire to
be advised
from someone much seasoned practice than they.

On the other hand
, there are
some
obvious disadvantages that would arise.
First
, the growing proportion of elders in the population opens questions how to finance them
greatly
after retirement. This means that more pension requirements and brings about the cost to the
Government
. Second, older
people
more prone to illnesses and ailments.
In particular
, the rising number of sick
people
, will put pressure on healthcare facilities, which might not be able to address the demand, such as not
enough
housing or nursery homes and
so
forth. Last
but
not least, there are more familial and social conflicts due to the generation gap and resentment of the young against the
old
.

To sum up, there are plus points to age community regarding their
positive
contributions and experiences of the community.
However
, the downside would emerge
consequently
in terms of a burden on infrastructure, welfare system and more familial displeasure. In order that, the society needs to pay attention more to this issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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