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The number of cars keeps increasing, so road systems should be expended. Some people think the government should pay for it, while others think car owners should pay for it. What’s your opinion? v.2

The number of cars keeps increasing, so road systems should be expended. Some people think the government should pay for it, while others think car owners should pay for it. What’s your opinion? v. 2
Cars occupied the most prominent place and heavy usage in human's daily life. So, the roads also to be renovated according to the traffic increment. A few people assume that the Government has to pay for this. But the other end of the spectrum the cars owners have to afford it. I suggest that the Government has to take care of road system expansions. My supported details will be explained in the further space. Firstly, people are paying plethora of taxes on their earnings. This doe doesn't include only for their income, but also including road tax and vehicle taxes as well. If a person purchases a vehicle, road tax are paid once in a vehicle's lifetime (that is, approximately fifteen years) and vehicle tax on an annual basis. Moreover, this cannot be included in "Income Tax return benefits". Nevertheless, It is a Government responsibility to make the road systems hustle free and traffic free. Secondly, population is increasing enormously nowadays. Government leaders have to make awareness about the effects of a huge population and severe issues of the usage of cars. I would suggest the Government to conduct the awareness of the use of public transportation. I believe every Government from each state has its own public transportation department. This could lead the use of private vehicles. Notwithstanding, public transport is the blessing in disguise for the people. Unfortunately, most of the people prefer to use their personal transport. The conclusion to be drawn that, It is the Government responsibility to measure the causes for private transport and prevent them before they were getting raised.
Cars occupied the most prominent place and heavy usage in human's daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
also
to
be renovated
according to the traffic increment. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay for this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the spectrum the cars owners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
afford it. I suggest that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system expansions. My supported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the
further
space.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are paying plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on their earnings. This doe doesn't include
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
as well
. If a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
are paid
once in a vehicle's lifetime (
that is
, approximately fifteen years) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on an annual basis.
Moreover
, this cannot
be included
in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
return benefits
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Nevertheless
, It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
systems hustle free and traffic free.

Secondly
, population is increasing
enormously
nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
leaders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
awareness about the effects of a huge population and severe issues of the usage of cars. I would suggest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
to conduct the awareness of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transportation. I believe every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
from each state has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
public transportation department. This could lead the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. Notwithstanding, public transport is the blessing in disguise for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Unfortunately, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their personal transport.

The conclusion to
be drawn
that, It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
responsibility to measure the causes for private transport and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they were getting raised.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of cars keeps increasing, so road systems should be expended. Some people think the government should pay for it, while others think car owners should pay for it. What’s your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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