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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion v.8

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 8
People hold divergent views about how certain talents for fields such as music or sport affect on the success of children. From my point of view, all individuals are able to acquire necessary skills to play a sport or an instrument, however, the talents will be the key point to distinguish an accomplished player and a mediocre one. On the one hand, I will not take issue with the point that people could attain everything as long as they are well trained along with trying their best. Many scientists and super stars, when interviewed, explained that their success was composed of 99% of attempt and only 1% of talents. In terms of football, Ronaldo might be not so gifted as some others players, nonetheless, he sets a good example of attempt and severe practice, as a result, this footballer is now deemed a legend in such area. Besides, some recent research has shown that humans do not have many distinct differences in their genes, which means that our ability to perceive knowledge is nearly equal. On the other hand, the innate talents still have a huge impact on the career of individuals. When it comes to the fields such as sport, art or music, gifted people are considered to dominate over the ordinary ones because these kinds of activities require special physical characteristics which are usually different between each person. To illustrate this case, most of people could learn how to read the notes in songs or play an instrument, however, if people do not have a touching voice or have a taste for the tune, they could not transfer the feelings of the song as well as connecting others together. In conclusion, while I understand the relative importance of training and talents, I believe that the gifts will be the prominent factors which create difference between the people who have the same attempt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
hold divergent views about how certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
for fields such as music or sport
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the success of children. From my point of view, all individuals are able to acquire necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to play a sport or an instrument,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
will be the key point to distinguish an accomplished player and a mediocre one.

On the one hand, I will not take issue with the point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could attain everything as long as they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
along with trying their best.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists and super stars, when interviewed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that their success
was composed
of 99% of attempt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. In terms of football, Ronaldo might be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
gifted as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others players, nonetheless, he sets a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of attempt and severe practice,
as a result
, this footballer is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
deemed a legend in such area.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent research has shown that humans do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distinct differences in their genes, which means that our ability to perceive knowledge is
nearly
equal.

On the other hand
, the innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
still
have a huge impact on the career of individuals. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the fields such as sport, art or music, gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are considered
to dominate over the ordinary ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these kinds of activities require special physical characteristics which are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between each person. To illustrate this case, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could learn how to read the notes in songs or play an instrument,
however
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have a touching voice or have a taste for the tune, they could not transfer the feelings of the song
as well
as connecting others together.

In conclusion
, while I understand the relative importance of training and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, I believe that the gifts will be the prominent factors which create difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the same attempt
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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