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The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v.4

The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v. 4
In the contemporary era, everyone in the community wants to have a comfortable travel. Owing to this, numerous people use cars to commute to work, which has resulted in cities overburdened with cars. These are causing problems like traffic jams, pollution and ill effects on human health; nevertheless, this can be addressed by constructing better infrastructure, usage of non-polluting vehicles and resorting to public transport. The problems relating to a growing number of cars are countless. Firstly, during office hours every employee is travelling to work or home, these results in heavy traffic on roads, which makes difficult for them to reach on time. Secondly, there is massive emission of harmful gases during peak hours, which has detrimental effects on the environment. Additionally, honking creates more irritation further leading to noise pollution. For Instance, in India it is very difficult to get some quality air while walking through the roads near highways. Finally, such atmosphere can lead to severe illness amongst the masses who are living nearby or travelling from that area. Every problem comes with a solution. To begin with, government should work on providing better facilities like concrete roads and effective traffic management to curtail heavy traffic. Furthermore, people should be encouraged to use transport that does not cause pollution like electric cars. To illustrate, few developed countries persuade their residents to use bicycles to avoid pollution as well as traffic. Lastly, public transport like metro train can be used to travel to office as an alternative to commuting by car, which can help people to avoid breathing polluted air. To conclude, big cities are seeing a rapid rise in the number of cars. This has caused several problems like heavy traffic, high pollution and human illness. The solutions to these problems are providing better roads, usage of vehicles that do not contribute to pollution and resort to public transport for daily travelling.
In the contemporary era, everyone in the community wants to have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "comfortable travel".
a comfortable travel
. Owing to this, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to commute to work, which has resulted in cities overburdened with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. These are causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and ill effects on human health;
nevertheless
, this can
be addressed
by constructing better infrastructure, usage of non-polluting vehicles and resorting to public transport.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
relating to a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are countless.
Firstly
, during office hours every employee is travelling to work or home, these results in heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult for them to reach on time.
Secondly
, there is massive emission of harmful gases during peak hours, which has detrimental effects on the environment.
Additionally
, honking creates more irritation
further
leading to noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For Instance
, in India it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality air while walking through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
near highways.
Finally
, such atmosphere can lead to severe illness amongst the masses who are living nearby or travelling from that area.

Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a solution. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should work on providing better facilities like concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
management to curtail heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
transport that does not cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
like electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. To illustrate, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
persuade their residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
bicycles to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
Lastly
, public transport like metro train can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel to office as an alternative to commuting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to avoid breathing polluted air.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities are seeing a rapid rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. This has caused several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and human illness. The solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are providing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, usage of vehicles that do not contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and resort to public transport for daily travelling.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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