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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give own opinion. v.4

There are split opinion regarding child's Development. Many people conceive a notion that gardian have to train the children to be respectable member of a society, whereas other group of thinker believe that school has capability to learn, both has its own pros and cons. Therefore before giving my opinion both the view point must be analysed further in the ensuing paragraphs. Analysing the formal view, the foremost argument the put forth is that parents are always of first teacher of child's life. Most of the children learn from their parents. Parents can shape the mind of the children because they can teach moral values, importance of life, how to become a successful in life. Furthermore, on the second reason is that, In spite of fighting, the parent teach how to become a respected member of society. Public behaviour and facing challenges are learnt from parents. People believe that parents are responsible for the children's future. On the contrary, the later view suggest that schools are the most ideal place for young child to learn something because teacher have ability to influence the child's physiology rather than parents. Moreover, more responsibility on school to give attention on Child's academics. Teachers and schools should drill morality, discipline, methodology and attitude to the life and work. In conclusion. I believe that all the member of the society that include parents as well as teachers of the academic are responsible to make children better human. Although It is not responsibility of only one person, It is the responsibility of whole society to make children responsible.
There
are split
opinion regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
Development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
conceive a notion that gardian
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
train the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be respectable member of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, whereas other group of thinker believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has capability to learn, both has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion both the view point
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be analysed
further
in the ensuing paragraphs.

Analysing the formal view, the foremost argument the put forth is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are always of
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can shape the mind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can teach moral values, importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, how to become a successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
, on the second reason is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
fighting, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
teach how to become a respected member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Public behaviour and facing challenges
are learnt
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for the children's future.

On the contrary
, the later view suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the most ideal place for young child to learn something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
have ability to influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
physiology
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
, more responsibility on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to give attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child's
academics.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should drill morality, discipline, methodology and attitude to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and work.

In conclusion
. I believe that all the member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
of the academic are responsible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better human. Although It is not responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person, It is the responsibility of whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
responsible.
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Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people think parents should teach the children how to be good member of the society other, However, believe the school is the place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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