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The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v.3

The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v. 3
Culture defines the values of one’s life. It links traditions and way of living of a person with its ancestors. In the modern world, some people think that culture has become similar across the globe in comparison to ancient time. I believe it’s a positive development which is the result of globalization. In this essay, I will list down the positive aspects of such development. Firstly, the advent of globalization in the modern society has lessen the living gaps across different cultures. Such development has opened the doors of opportunities for every potential individual across the borders. An increasing number of expats in developing and developed countries are acting as building blocks to reduce the cultural gap. This advancement has opened the doors of industrial growth and has played a pivotal role in boosting the country’s economy. For example, the US economy is leading the world and basic ingredient of such secret is the expat. Secondly, it has boosted tourism across the globe. People prefer to visit places where a common language is spoken and they can enjoy all flavors of the world in a single spot. For instance, Bangkok in Asia has been classified as a most visited place in Asia due to its versatility of all the infused cultures. Finally, cultural similarities have allowed people to mingle into each other. This has boosted collaboration and scientific growth. People share their research work in a common language, which can be read and appreciated by their peers. Such work is also presented on a common platform where people wear same attire. Since, the focus is to work for the betterment of the world. In conclusion, cultural similarities has boosted economic, scientific and tourism growth. Nowadays, people believe in working together for a better world rather than following their cultural heritage.
Culture defines the values of one’s life. It links traditions and way of living of a person with its ancestors. In the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that culture has become similar across the globe
in comparison
to ancient time. I believe it’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development which is the result of globalization. In this essay, I will list down the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of such development.

Firstly
, the advent of globalization in the modern society has
Use past participle here: "lessened".
lessen
the living gaps across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. Such development has opened the doors of opportunities for every potential individual across the borders. An increasing number of expats in developing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are acting as building blocks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
gap. This advancement has opened the doors of industrial growth and has played a pivotal role in boosting the country’s economy.
For example
, the US economy is leading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and basic ingredient of such secret is the expat.

Secondly
, it has boosted tourism across the globe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer to visit places where a common language is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
spoken and
they can enjoy all flavors of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in a single spot.
For instance
, Bangkok in Asia has
been classified
as a most visited place in Asia due to its versatility of all the infused cultures.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
similarities have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to mingle into each other. This has boosted collaboration and scientific growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
share their research work in a common language, which can
be read
and appreciated by their peers. Such work is
also
presented on a common platform where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wear same attire. Since, the focus is to work for the betterment of the world.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
similarities has boosted economic, scientific and tourism growth. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in working together for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
rather
than following their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
heritage.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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