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The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v.2

The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v. 2
It is believed that the number of cars increased in major cities which can lead to many problems such as air pollution, many traffic jams, accidents or reduced parking lots. It is a rising trend of buying cars which resulted a big amount of vehicles on the roads. First of all, the rising number of cars leads to more accidents on the roads or can complicate the movement from a place to another. Second of all, by not having enough parking lots, people usually park on sidewalks which has a bad impact on pedestrians by not giving them space to move. Furthermore, a high level of car application can pollute the fresh air in an overcrowded city. These problems can be solved by providing alternatives to the citizens, by developing trains, subways so that people can be encouraged to get out of their comfort zone and start using other ways of transportation. On the other hand, government should motivate citizens by providing them more and more bicycle roads and giving them offers which can change their minds and switching from car with this kind of option. Lastly, many cities started to come up with new ideas about shuttling the population and developing smart options. To conclude, the population should combine their forces and try to make a change for their own health and security, therefore the using of cars should be limited.
It
is believed
that the number of
cars
increased in major cities which can lead to
many
problems such as air pollution,
many
traffic jams, accidents or
reduced
parking lots.

It is a rising trend of buying
cars
which resulted a
big
amount of vehicles on the roads.
First of all
, the rising number of
cars
leads to more accidents on the roads or can complicate the movement from a place to another. Second of all, by not having
enough
parking lots,
people
usually
park on sidewalks which has a
bad
impact on pedestrians by not giving them space to
move
.
Furthermore
, a high level of
car
application can pollute the fresh air in an overcrowded city.

These problems can
be solved
by providing alternatives to the citizens, by developing trains, subways
so
that
people
can
be encouraged
to
get
out of their comfort zone and
start
using other ways of transportation.
On the other hand
,
government
should motivate citizens by providing them more and more bicycle roads and giving them offers which can
change
their minds and switching from
car
with this kind of option.
Lastly
,
many
cities
started
to
come
up with new
ideas
about shuttling the population and developing smart options.

To conclude
, the population should combine their forces and try to
make
a
change
for their
own
health and security,
therefore
the using of
cars
should
be limited
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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