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Nowadays, More And More People Decide To Have Children Later In Their Life. What Are The Reasons? Do Advantages Of This Outweigh Disadvantages? v.3

Nowadays, More And More People Decide To Have Children Later In Their Life. What Are The Reasons? Do Advantages Of This Outweigh Disadvantages? v. 3
In contemporary society, adults are inclined to delay having children until they reach their middle age. In this essay, I would like to demonstrate several reasons for this tendency and discuss that its drawbacks outweigh its benefits. To begin with, there are some explanations for people’s avoidance of becoming parents too soon in their life. A prominent justification is that they want to be better-prepared for the family life financially. Individuals at their early stage of career may find it daunting difficult to afford a youth’s basic demands, so it is reasonable for them to wait until they have accumulated a sufficient amount of money to guarantee a fulfilled material life for their children. Another reason would be that the adults may want to enjoy their life before having a new family member. In illustration, it is easier for married couples to travel without a child to nurture. It is true that this proclivity of procrastination is advantageous to some extent. To be more specific, families living on a stable income is capable of providing their offspring with high quality education and nutritious diets. However, I hold the view that the disadvantages of this trend are more convincing. It has been scientifically proven that older parents are more likely to give birth to less healthy progeny. Those children may suffer from a number of serious diseases, ranging from rickets to autism. In the long run, this may have an adverse effect on the overall competence of the future workforce. In conclusion, it is understandable why people want to have children in their middle age, but they have to stay alert to the aforementioned significant threats.
In contemporary society, adults
are inclined
to delay having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until they reach their middle age. In this essay, I would like to demonstrate several reasons for this tendency and discuss that its drawbacks outweigh its benefits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explanations for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s avoidance of becoming parents too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A prominent justification is that they want to be better-prepared for the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
financially
. Individuals at their early stage of career may find it daunting difficult to afford a youth’s basic demands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is reasonable for them to wait until they have accumulated a sufficient amount of money to guarantee a fulfilled material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Another reason would be that the adults may want to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having a new family member. In illustration, it is easier for married couples to travel without a child to nurture.

It is true that this proclivity of procrastination is advantageous to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. To be more specific, families living on a stable income is capable of providing their offspring with high quality education and nutritious diets.
However
, I hold the view that the disadvantages of this trend are more convincing. It has been
scientifically
proven that older parents are more likely to give birth to less healthy progeny. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may suffer from a number of serious diseases, ranging from rickets to autism. In the long run, this may have an adverse effect on the
overall
competence of the future workforce.

In conclusion
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their middle age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay alert to the aforementioned significant threats.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, More And More People Decide To Have Children Later In Their Life. What Are The Reasons? Do Advantages Of This Outweigh Disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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