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The news media plays an important role in modern societies. Why are they important? Do they have a positive or negative influence? v.1

The news media plays an important role in modern societies. Why are they important? Do they have a positive or negative influence? v. 1
Thanks to the globalization and the development of transport, travel is getting more popular. It is claimed that travel improved the appreciation of other cultures. In my opinion, enthusiastic travellers can understand the values of cultures better than those at home for some certain reasons. Travel indeed helps people appreciate other traditions and customs. This is because when tourists stay with the locals, experience their lifestyles or participate in traditional festivals by themselves, they can make friends, fall in line with the locals and show greater respect to these customs. Moreover, when travelling visitors have opportunities to be directly told the history, origin and other interesting stories of traditions by inhabitants who have lived there for many years. Last but not least, travellers can try special food which every local area has different recipes. This is a key factor in appreciating distinct cultures. However, some people believe that they can appreciate cultures through computer or phone screens. This is not completely true because they don’t have a chance of experiencing other customs directly and don’t understand the true values of local customs. And clearly, travellers have more practical experiences than those who just stay at home and watch or read information on the Internet. Besides addition, not every culture is found on the Internet. In fact, some tribes are living separate from the rest of the world like some tribes in Amazon which people don’t even know their existence. In conclusion, travel helps people to appreciate other cultures. And personally, travel is better than just staying at home to understand the values of other cultures.
Thanks to the globalization and the development of transport,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is getting more popular. It
is claimed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the appreciation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. In my opinion, enthusiastic
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can understand the values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
better than those at home for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain reasons.

Travel
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
traditions and customs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when tourists stay with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, experience their lifestyles or participate in traditional festivals by themselves, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, fall in line with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
greater respect to these customs.
Moreover
, when travelling visitors have opportunities to be
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
the history, origin and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interesting stories of traditions by inhabitants who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can try special food which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
recipes. This is a key factor in appreciating distinct cultures.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they can appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
through computer or phone screens. This is not completely true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t have a chance of experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
customs
directly
and don’t understand the true values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs. And
clearly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
have more practical experiences than those who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or read information on the Internet.
Did you mean "in"?
Besides
addition, not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is found
on the Internet. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tribes are living separate from the rest of the world like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tribes
The usual collocation for "Amazon" is "on". Did you mean "on Amazon"?
in Amazon
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t even know their existence.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. And
personally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
staying at home to understand the values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The news media plays an important role in modern societies. Why are they important? Do they have a positive or negative influence? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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