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News plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v.1

News plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v. 1
Information plays an important role in modern societies. Thus, news are relevant to people in order to keep them informed about not only their cities but also the whole world. Unfortunately, due to human nature, news have an exaggerated focus on bad things. Although, I think the news should be focusing equally on good things. Firstly, in our fast paced society news play a fundamental role, since the world is in a constant change state. For instance, someone needs to follow the news for being informed about changes in local traffic routes, regional health concerns, and new government rules. Therefore, neglecting the news can lead to either miss opportunities or risky situations. The reason why the majority of the news are bad is that humans are constantly seeking for self preservation. As an example, it is not uncommon for news related to violence being on top of the chart. Hence, this exaggerated negative focus is a situation where both the news and the public are focusing on the bad things. Finally, news should inform people about good and bad things with the same intensity. Otherwise, people might think that the situation is worse than it is. For example, someone constantly presented to news related to crime might believe that the crime rates are on the rise, while that might not be true. In conclusion, news are fundamental in modern daily life, either by keeping people informed about their region or by bringing up awareness about a danger. However, too much focus is given to bad news by both society and the news itself. Therefore, I believe news should be about good and bad things on equal amount.
Information plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in modern societies.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are relevant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them informed about not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the whole world. Unfortunately, due to human nature,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
have an exaggerated focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should be focusing
equally
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.

Firstly
, in our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
play a fundamental role, since the world is in a constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
state.
For instance
, someone needs to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for
being informed
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in local traffic routes, regional health concerns, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Therefore
, neglecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can lead to either miss opportunities or risky situations.

The reason why the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
is that humans are
constantly
seeking for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self preservation
. As an example, it is not uncommon for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
related to violence being on top of the chart.
Hence
, this exaggerated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
focus is a situation where both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and the public are focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things with the same intensity.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the situation is worse than it is.
For example
, someone
constantly
presented to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
related to crime might believe that the crime rates are on the rise, while that might not be true.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are fundamental in modern daily life, either by keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
informed about their region or by bringing up awareness about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
However
, too much focus is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
by both society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
itself.
Therefore
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should be about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things on equal amount.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay News plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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