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The natural resources such as oil forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate what problems does it cause how can we save these problems v.1

The natural resources such as oil forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate what problems does it cause how can we save these problems v. 1
In technological era with increasing population in the world and rapid growth of industries, people use more natural resources such as oil, water and forest. But these resources are limited and demanding and consumption is very high. It will be prevented by some solutions. I shall discuss some problems and give solutions in coming paragraphs. To begin with, oil is main energy sources and it is known as non-renewable. It will finish very soon because its demand very high. Oil is used in vehicle, industries, factories and also in home. At industrial level we can use more public transport so definitely we use more oil resource. People are more educated so they can do some research and find alternate sources of energy it will benefit in future. Secondly, water is main element for all. There can be no life without water. water is most precious thing today. Fresh water level use of water continuously and recycle water whenever possible. Because all machines become hot so water will helpful for cooling down. Water is used in growing plants and tress. Finally, because of deforestation, many plants and animals are decreasing day by day. Animals and plants, which provides us food, medicine and other valuable products but they are facing extinction. We have also loose bio-diversity. Moreover, many city expanding the areas so many forests area' s tress cut, so soil exposed to heavy rain and also washed away. Trees absorb carbon dioxide and it is very dangerous because it causes global warming. Government will take some actions and take some strict rules for cutting tress. Also human can grow some tress in area for few months and years so that day is not far when we will have greenery in all over. In conclusion, I would like to say oil, water, and forests are very much demand and necessary. If we have to survive on earth so we use them very carefully for our better future.
In technological era with increasing population in the world and rapid growth of industries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more natural resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and forest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these resources
are limited
and demanding and consumption is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. It will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions. I shall discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems and give solutions in coming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is main energy sources and it
is known
as non-renewable. It will finish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oil
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in vehicle, industries, factories and
also
in home. At industrial level we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more public transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
definitely we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
resource.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are more educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research and find alternate sources of energy it will benefit
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is main element for all. There can be no life without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
water
is most precious thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
continuously
and recycle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
whenever possible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
all machines become hot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
will helpful for cooling down.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in growing plants and tress.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of deforestation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
plants and animals are decreasing day by day. Animals and plants, which provides us food, medicine and other valuable products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are facing extinction. We have
also
loose bio-diversity.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
city expanding the areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forests
Possible spelling mistake found.
area&
#039; s tress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
soil exposed to heavy rain and
also
washed away. Trees absorb carbon dioxide and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it causes global warming.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for cutting tress.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
human can grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tress in area for few months and years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that day is not far when we will have greenery in all over.

In conclusion
, I would like to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, and forests are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much demand and necessary. If we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
survive on earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
carefully
for our better future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The natural resources such as oil forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate what problems does it cause how can we save these problems v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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