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The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems? v.1

The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems? v. 1
With the ever increasing population in the world and rapid industrial growth, we are facing a thorny issue in these days and the time has come for us to address it properly in order to ensure our very existence. The consumption of oil, trees and fresh water is ever growing and though those resources are quite limited and non-renewable in many cases, we have taken very few steps to prevent the overuse of those invaluable resources. As a result, catastrophic outcomes are obvious and we should take every possible measure to solve these problems. First, reservation of oil and fresh water is not limitless and over consumption of these two resources will cause scarcity of natural resources. When the oil reservation will go down, nations will fight over it and factories, machines and cars will be useless without oil. Moreover, the overuse of oil causes uncontrollable air pollution and catastrophic effects like, the global warming and climate change which threaten our very existence on the earth. Fresh water is another big area of concern as it is a critical issue for the living organism and less than 3% water reservation on the earth is fresh water. Freshwater resources are depleting fast and this will cause our living on the earth impossible. Undoubtedly deforestation is the reason many species are becoming extinct and our environment is getting polluted. As most countries are trying to improve their economic conditions through industrialisation, we are imposing an unbearable burden to the natural ecosystem by consuming importation natural resources. This increasing rate of natural resources consumption causes scarcity of natural resources, burdens to the ecosystem, air pollution, water pollution, soil erosion, natural unbalance, extinction of many species, water contamination, an outbreak of diseases and finally threaten our existence. All nations and every individual should put their best effort to combat this problem. It is a global issue and hence should be addressed globally. Moreover, every government should ensure adequate legislations and strict laws to prevent the over-consumption of important natural resources. Factories, mills and industries should not be allowed to contaminate waters and should be severely fined if found guilty. Ownership of cars should be restricted and prices of oil should be increased. Strict monitoring of logging activity should be in place and plantation of trees should be encouraged. Along with government’s initiatives, individual effort to address this problem should also be in place. We should use water conservatively and use our car less. Gardening and plantation should be a mandatory part of building a new house. The individual effort on saving our planet and future generation will play a key role in addressing these problems.   Finally, more research works are required to introduce better water recycling machines, eco-friendly vehicles and alternative sources of energy. In conclusion, I would reiterate that important natural resources like water, oil, trees should not be exploited and individual and government initiatives can reduce the problems caused by it to a great extent. If we fail to do that, the consequence would be too severe to control.
With the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
population in the world and rapid industrial growth, we are facing a thorny issue in these days and the time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for us to address it
properly
in order to ensure our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence. The consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, trees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is ever growing and though those resources are quite limited and non-renewable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, we have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the overuse of those invaluable resources.
As a result
, catastrophic outcomes are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
obvious and
we should take every possible measure to solve these problems.

First
, reservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is not limitless and over consumption of these two resources will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
reservation will go down, nations will fight over it and factories, machines and cars will be useless without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
.
Moreover
, the overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
uncontrollable air pollution and catastrophic effects like, the global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which threaten our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence on the earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
area of concern as it is a critical issue for the living organism and less than 3%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
reservation on the earth is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Freshwater resources are depleting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
our living on the earth impossible.
Undoubtedly
deforestation is the reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species are becoming extinct and our environment is getting polluted. As most countries are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their economic conditions through
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, we are imposing an unbearable burden to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ecosystem by consuming importation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. This increasing rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources, burdens to the ecosystem, air pollution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution, soil erosion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
unbalance, extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination, an outbreak of diseases and
finally
threaten our existence.

All nations and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should put their best effort to combat this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. It is a global issue and
hence
should
be addressed
globally.
Moreover
, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ensure adequate
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
and strict laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the over-consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. Factories, mills and industries should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to contaminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waters
and should be
severely
fined if found guilty. Ownership of cars should
be restricted
and prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
should
be increased
. Strict monitoring of logging activity should be in place and plantation of trees should
be encouraged
. Along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s initiatives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
effort to address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
should
also
be in place. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
conservatively
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our car less. Gardening and plantation should be a mandatory part of building a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
effort on saving our planet and future generation will play a key role in addressing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Finally
, more research works
are required
to introduce better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
recycling machines, eco-friendly vehicles and alternative sources of energy.

In conclusion
, I would reiterate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, trees should not
be exploited
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
initiatives can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by it to a great extent. If we fail to do that, the consequence would be too severe to control.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
508 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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