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The natural resources such as oil and freshwater are being consumed at alarming rate What problems it can cause How can we solve this problem v.2

The natural resources such as oil and freshwater are being consumed at alarming rate What problems it can cause How can we solve this problem v. 2
Technical advancements cause more use of natural resources even these are limited in quantity. There is not doubt that utilization of natural resources such as oil and freshwater is soaring day by day on global level. It result in plenty of problems and number of measures cab be taken to tackle this issue. On the one hand, there are number of obstacles which brings by overuse of natural resources. Firstly, misuse of limited natural resources happen due to technology as innovations are taking place on daily basis, every person own personal vehicle, which runs by burning fuel. Moreover, oil is limited resource and it is impossible to produce in short span of time as it took millions of years to produce again. Therefore, if the use is increasing then it will deprive the upcoming generations from these resources as well as motor vehicles are of no use without fuel. Secondly, life on earth is highly depend on water and underground water is pumped for many purposes such as irrigation and electricity generation. Finally, overuse of oil leads to more carbondyoxide emissions which contaminate air and become cause of global warming. Also, Deforestation ruins habitats of wild animals and cause soil erosion and floods. On the other hand, ample of solutions can be applied to eradicate this serious problem. First of all, increasing number of vehicles cause the overuse of oil reserves therefore, public should use alternative modes of transport in order to save oil and environment. For an instance, using bicycle contributes many benefits as it is eco-friendly mode of transport which escapes environment from pollution. Besides this, recycling water by machines would provide large amount of water for irrigation and to other major plants. Additionally, government should implement strict rules and regulations in factories of pollution bills so they they will emit less effluents as industries are primary cause of pollution. To conclude, although natural resources are using at large level and they are declining yet there are some solutions which works efficiently for saving limited natural resources such as oil, trees, water etcetera.
Technical advancements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources even these are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
in quantity. There is not doubt that utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and freshwater is soaring day by day on global level. It
Did you mean "results"?
result
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems and number of measures cab
be taken
to tackle this issue.

On the one hand, there are number of obstacles which brings by overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Firstly
, misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources happen due to technology as innovations are taking place on daily basis, every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal vehicle, which runs by burning fuel.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
and it is impossible to produce in short span of time as it took millions of years to produce again.
Therefore
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is increasing then it will deprive the upcoming generations from these resources
as well
as motor vehicles are of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
without fuel.
Secondly
, life on earth is
highly
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes such as irrigation and electricity generation.
Finally
, overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
leads to more
Possible spelling mistake found.
carbondyoxide
emissions which contaminate air and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of global warming.
Also
, Deforestation ruins habitats of wild animals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
soil erosion and floods.

On the other hand
, ample of solutions can
be applied
to eradicate this serious problem.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, increasing number of vehicles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
reserves
therefore
, public should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
alternative modes of transport in order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and environment. For an instance, using bicycle contributes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits as it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a eco-friendly" or "is an eco-friendly"
is eco-friendly
mode of transport which escapes environment from pollution.
Besides
this, recycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by machines would provide large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for irrigation and to other major plants.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations in factories of pollution bills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible typo: you repeated a word
they they
will emit
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun effluents is countable.
less
effluents as industries are primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of pollution.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources are using at large
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
level and
they are declining
yet
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions which works
efficiently
for saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, trees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
etcetera.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The natural resources such as oil and freshwater are being consumed at alarming rate What problems it can cause How can we solve this problem v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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