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Nowadays the trend of making movies on real heroes such as sportsmen and patriots is increasing. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages. v.1

Nowadays the trend of making movies on real heroes such as sportsmen and patriots is increasing. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages. v. 1
In these days we can see filly transfiguration in concept of movies. It is a fact that most of the movies are made on basis of reality like on spotstars and patriots instead of imagination and fantasy. According to me it has more merits as compared to demerits. Admittedly, making movies on authentic heroes such as sportsmen and patriots bring numerous advantages. Firstly, knowing about history is extremely important for everyone as it helps us in forecasting about future on basis of past happenings. However, some people are unaware about historical background of their country like works done by their patriots for the nation. Therefore, movies about real patriots may give information about them as well as leads to the feeling of patriotism. Secondly, it may widen the horizons of knowledge of people about their national history. Moreover, it is good way to take motivation and courage as real stories about patriots let people to think about their nation and contribute for protecting country from external forces to live freely. For example, maryar bhagat singh has a great contribution in freedom of country from British rulers and he took revenge of masacar of jaleyawala bagh when innocent people were fired by rulers. Most importantly, the movies based on Bharat singh impressed many people and make them aware about their life and their sacrifice for the nation. In addition to this, movies on sportsmen give them recognition on global level which is not only provide respect but also boost confidence of players. By watching movies of victorious and popular figures young ones may avoid bad company and make sure their contribution for the country. To elaborate it, in order to develop a country it' s famous personalities play an vital role as they represent country. Thus, natives of country feel proud of them. For an instance, movie on milkha singh which was a brilliant athlete, has been made since 2013 in which they showed his talent of running as flying and his experience of life as well. It encouraged youngsters to take participate in sports for getting name and fame. Whereas, movies on imagination and creativity also show talent of people. To conclude, although people like stories of imagination and fantasy yet I believe that real stories describe the true stories and bring many benefits than abstraction.
In these days we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
filly
transfiguration in concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. It is a fact that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are made
on basis of reality like on
Possible spelling mistake found.
spotstars
and patriots
instead
of imagination and fantasy.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
it has more merits as compared to demerits.

Admittedly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on authentic heroes such as sportsmen and patriots bring numerous advantages.
Firstly
, knowing about history is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us in forecasting about future on basis of past happenings.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware about historical background of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like works done by their patriots for the nation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
about real patriots may give information about them
as well
as leads to the feeling of patriotism.
Secondly
, it may widen the horizons of knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their national history.
Moreover
, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to take motivation and courage as real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
about patriots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their nation and contribute for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from external forces to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
maryar
Possible spelling mistake found.
bhagat
Possible spelling mistake found.
singh
has a great contribution in freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from British
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rulers and
he took revenge of
Possible spelling mistake found.
masacar
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
jaleyawala
Possible spelling mistake found.
bagh
when innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were fired
by rulers. Most
importantly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
based on Bharat
Possible spelling mistake found.
singh
impressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware about their life and their sacrifice for the nation.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on sportsmen give them recognition on global level which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boost confidence of players. By watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
of victorious and popular figures young ones may avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their contribution for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To elaborate it, in order to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities play
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role as they represent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, natives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
feel proud of them. For an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
milkha
Possible spelling mistake found.
singh
which was a brilliant athlete, has
been made
since 2013 in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
his talent of running as flying and his experience of life
as well
. It encouraged youngsters to take participate in sports for getting name and fame. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on imagination and creativity
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
talent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
of imagination and fantasy
yet
I believe that real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
and bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits than abstraction.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the trend of making movies on real heroes such as sportsmen and patriots is increasing. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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