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If a five years old commits a crime. Should his /her parents accept responsibility and how should they be punished. What is a age of child when parents no longer have responsibility of a children's behavior. v.2

If a five years old commits a crime. Should his /her parents accept responsibility and how should they be punished. What is a age of child when parents no longer have responsibility of a children's behavior. v. 2
Commiting crimes is a bad evil in the society which is increasing day by day. It is a controversial question about responsibility and punishment of guardians whose children commit crimes. According to my perception 18 years is a legal age when children are accountable for their actions and parent' s have no responsibility. On the one hand, for commiting crimes by young ones, parents are responsible due to numerous reasons. Firstly, in today' s contemporary era children are developing in stressful and compitive world. moreover, indulging in illegal activities is a big cause of unawareness about what is right and wrong for them. Thus, it is fundamental duty of parents to impart moral values to their offsprings for their holistic development which would result in growing as responsible citizens. Secondly, both parents are working due to equality of males and females which may bring communion gap as after working hours they feel tire and do not spend time with their pupils. What is more, children find no time to share their problems with their parents which ultimately allow children to become offenders. Finally, for being rich parents force them to indulge in criminal activities: however, children are not real culprit and they have to follow their parents. To elaborate it, they are not only innocent but also have lack of guidance. On the other hand, after reaching legal age which is 18 in most of nations, children should be accountable for their own actions. First of all, being a adult children get all rights such as voting, driving license, against exploitation etcetera. Thus, children have all right to live with freedom then he should also be responsible for illegal activities by them such as theft and murders, breaking laws or other unwanted actions. Besides this, children become aware about rules and regulations and other Norms as well as how to treat people in community. Consequently, committing crimes by children as a adult should be tackled and punished properly. Additionally, even though parents have responsibility of their pupils ever; whereas, after gaining maturity children are accountable for their own actions as they become able to judge what is right by wrong. To conclude, although parents are responsible for crimes committed by their children yet I believe that the accountability of caretakers should be limited up-to legal age of their children despite of factors such as nurture and unawareness.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Commiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
evil in the society which is increasing day by day. It is a controversial question about responsibility and punishment of guardians whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. According to my perception 18 years is a legal age when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are accountable for their actions and
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s have no responsibility.

On the one hand, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by young ones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
due to numerous reasons.
Firstly
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s contemporary era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are developing in stressful and
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitive
world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, indulging in illegal activities is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cause of unawareness about what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for them.
Thus
, it is fundamental duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to impart moral values to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
for their holistic development which would result in growing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
citizens.
Secondly
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working due to equality of males and females which may bring communion gap as after working hours they feel tire and do not spend time with their pupils.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find no time to share their problems with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become offenders.
Finally
, for being rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
force them to indulge in criminal activities:
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culprit and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. To elaborate it, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
innocent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have lack of guidance.

On the other hand
, after reaching legal age which is 18 in
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the nations") or simply say "most nations".
most of nations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be accountable for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
actions.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, being
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
adult
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "child"?
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
such as voting, driving license, against exploitation etcetera.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with freedom then he should
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for illegal activities by them such as theft and murders, breaking laws or other unwanted actions.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become aware about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations and other Norms
as well
as how to treat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in community.
Consequently
, committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
adult should
be tackled
and punished
properly
.
Additionally
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have responsibility of their pupils ever; whereas, after gaining maturity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are accountable for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
actions as they become able to judge what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
yet
I believe that the accountability of caretakers should
be limited
up-to legal age of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
factors such as nurture and unawareness.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay If a five years old commits a crime. Should his /her parents accept responsibility and how should they be punished. What is a age of child when parents no longer have responsibility of a children's behavior. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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