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The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
Decreasing the expenditure and increasing the income are crucial and fundamental elements which companies are supposed to consider. How to optimize the money the company has to gain the most profit becomes increasingly significant. Some people hold that the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees. However, from my perspective, I disagree with this statement. Admittedly, improving the skill of the employees is of importance in a high-tech company. To be more concrete, high-tech company needs the new ideas and skills to invent more new products in the modern society. Such as a smartphone company. The competition of smartphone in the market is very fierce. Every company is compelled to give more user-friendly application service and swift updates. How to make the system more convenient to the consumers; how to make the appearance more appealing to the customers? These issues are exposed to the smartphone company. Therefore improving the skill of employees is a proper choice sometimes. However, choosing a good location is more of significance than improving the employee' s skills for a industrial company which does not demand high technologies. To be more specific, the industrial company needs much transportation back and forth with other places such as raw material companies and market and so on. A a good location which is near to these spots can save much money and time on the transportation. If the industrial company build in a desolate place, the company need to go farther, which can cause a huge strain on the budget in the long term. Furthermore, having an attractive advertisement is more of importance than improving the employee' s skills for a clothing company. This is because clothing company also does not need a high technology, and the clothes are produced by the pipeline from a model. A kind of clothes whose design is mediocre can be sold well if the company employ an influencer. For example, there is a brand called Lining, a commonplace brand in China. The company employed Xiaozhan, a young influencer who has million fans, to do a commercial advertisement for a kind of clothes. Then, the sale volume of the ordinary clothes increased surprisingly, even exceeded some famous brands. This ripple effect is the advantage that improving employees’ skills does not have. To put it in a nut shell, improving the employees' skills is crucial sometimes, but sometimes good location and effective advertisement can bring us more benefit.
Decreasing the expenditure and increasing the income are crucial and fundamental elements which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are supposed
to consider. How to optimize the money the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
gain the most profit becomes
increasingly
significant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
investment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
However
, from my perspective, I disagree with this statement.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is of importance in a high-tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. To be more concrete, high-tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to invent more new products in the modern society. Such as a smartphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. The competition of smartphone in the market is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fierce. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is compelled
to give more user-friendly application service and swift updates. How to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the system more convenient to the consumers; how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the appearance more appealing to the customers? These issues
are exposed
to the smartphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is a proper choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

However
, choosing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
location is more of significance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employee&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which does not demand high technologies. To be more specific, the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
much transportation back and forth with other places such as raw material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and market and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "A" or "a" is left.
A a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
location which is near to these spots can save much money and time on the transportation. If the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
build in a desolate place, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go farther, which can cause a huge strain on the budget in the long term.

Furthermore
, having an attractive advertisement is more of importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employee&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for a clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
also
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a high technology, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are produced
by the pipeline from a model. A kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
whose design is mediocre can
be sold
well if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
employ an influencer.
For example
, there is a brand called Lining, a commonplace brand in China. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
employed
Possible spelling mistake found.
Xiaozhan
, a young influencer who has
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
fans, to do a commercial advertisement for a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. Then, the sale volume of the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
increased
surprisingly
, even exceeded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands. This ripple effect is the advantage that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
does not have.

To put it in a nut shell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employees&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
location and effective advertisement can bring us more benefit.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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