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Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? v.6

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? v. 6
In the globalization era, moderately all of people in the world utilizing smartphone for calling and chatting with the others by online. One important aspect of smartphone era are the easily people for communicating to their colleagues, posting status and picture in facebook, twitter, as well as instagram which all of them rely on the quality and the accessibility of internet and wifi in everywhere and every time. Even though there are plenty advantages from smartphone era such as the effectivity, efficiency, rapidity, as well as easily to communicate with the others worldwide, albeit in my view it also have some disadvantages which it relate to social cohesion. I hold this view for several reasons which are set out below. In term of advantages, I would like to argue that online communication has successful to transform the model of communication. In the ancient era, all of people who want to talk with someone should schedule meeting up physically. Currently, by utilizing social media most of people could communicate and discuss with other from various regions virtually. On the other hand, online communication also had contributed the positive impact towards the acceleration of the dissemination of knowledge and information massively, as well as it also implicated to the increasement the number of start up which it based on social media and online system. However, online communication also have some disadvantages. referring to Cornail O. Allegaliel, the Director of Centre for Critical communication Studies University of British Columbia stated that there 20% young generation in the world had infected no mobile phone phobia (nomophobia) illness. The nomophobia illness which it were caused by the influence of online communication habits refers to the person who addict to use phone as the primary sources for communicating with other and limiting their self for meeting up with people by physically. Due to this condition, the nomophobic person tend to failure to interweave peer groups and social cohesion with their friends.
In the globalization
era
,
moderately
all of
people
in the world utilizing smartphone for calling and chatting with the others by
online
. One
important
aspect of smartphone
era
are the
easily
people
for communicating to their colleagues, posting status and picture
in facebook
, twitter,
as well
as
instagram
which all of them rely on the quality and the accessibility of internet and
wifi
in everywhere and every time.

Even though
there are
plenty
advantages from smartphone
era
such as the effectivity, efficiency, rapidity,
as well
as
easily
to communicate with the others worldwide, albeit in my view it
also
have
some
disadvantages which it
relate
to
social
cohesion. I hold this view for several reasons which
are set
out below.

In term of advantages, I would like to argue that
online
communication
has successful to transform the model of
communication
. In the ancient
era
, all of
people
who want to talk with someone should schedule meeting up
physically
.
Currently
, by utilizing
social
media most of
people
could communicate and discuss with
other
from various regions
virtually
. On the
other
hand,
online
communication
also
had contributed the
positive
impact towards the acceleration of the dissemination of knowledge and information
massively
,
as well
as it
also
implicated to the
increasement
the number of
start
up which it based on
social
media and
online
system.

However
,
online
communication
also
have
some
disadvantages.
referring
to
Cornail
O.
Allegaliel
, the Director of
Centre
for Critical
communication
Studies University of British Columbia stated that there 20% young generation in the world had infected no mobile phone phobia (
nomophobia
) illness. The
nomophobia
illness which it
were caused
by the influence of
online
communication
habits refers to the person who addict to
use
phone as the primary sources for communicating with
other
and limiting their self for meeting up with
people
by
physically
. Due to this condition, the
nomophobic
person tend to failure to interweave peer groups and
social
cohesion with their friends.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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