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In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reasons and provide specific examples to support your answer. v.1

In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reasons and provide specific examples to support your answer. v. 1
In this new modern world, all skills are necessary, the more skills you have therefore more chance for you to success in your professional life, good qualifications related to one’s area of work are the most important. Great capabilities will help individuals to do well in their jobs. Accordingly of knowing their obligations, they will bring upgraded execution at work, such as by forwardly taking on testing assignments, which will make them be seen by their administrators and supervisors. In the long run, this will give a positive impression, giving better execution examinations, which would be enormously beneficially for their profession. Consequently, instruction assumes a significant job for proficient achievement. Great capabilities give access to helpful business openings. This is on the grounds that having them empower individuals to apply to numerous occupations, the same number of managers demand certain capabilities from a planned worker; an individual without these would not have the option to go after the position. It’s better that we focus on the qualification we need rather than social skills, since social skills are easy to be train or learn. Qualification also took more time to be mastered so we should focus more on our qualification. Taking everything into account, it is apparent that good qualification is needed for individuals to be effective in their expert lives on the grounds that these help in performing great in their job and give them a chance to get a better job. If individuals wish to have effective career, they should concentrate on getting the qualification for the job.
In this new modern world, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are necessary, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
you have
therefore
more chance for you to success in your professional life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
related to one’s area of work are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Great capabilities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to do well in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Accordingly
of knowing their obligations, they will bring upgraded execution at work, such as by
forwardly
taking on testing assignments, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by their administrators and supervisors. In the long run, this will give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impression, giving better execution examinations, which would be
enormously
beneficially
for their profession.

Consequently
, instruction assumes a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for proficient achievement. Great capabilities give access to helpful business openings. This is on the grounds that having them empower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to apply to numerous occupations, the same number of managers demand certain capabilities from a planned worker; an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
without these would not have the option to go after the position. It’s better that we focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
we need
rather
than social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, since social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are easy to be
Consider using a past participle here: "trained".
train
or learn.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Qualification
also
took more time to
be mastered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should focus more on our qualification.

Taking everything into account, it is apparent that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
is needed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to be effective in their expert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on the grounds that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in performing great in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and give them a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
wish to have effective career, they should concentrate on getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reasons and provide specific examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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