Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
It is believed that progenitors are more liberal towards their minors today than they use to be earlier. I think that it is a positive development and this essay will discuss how parents and their offspring benefits because of this transition. First and foremost, as parents these days have shown belief and have become more flexible towards the career options of their children, it has given confidence to the child to choose better. They have grown courageous because they know that if something goes wrong, their parents will always back them. Therefore, they are able to take more risk and try some offbeat job options and pursue their dream careers such as of becoming a dancer, singer or sports person which was rare in the past as most children were forcefully put into engineering or MBBS colleges by their parents. Consequently, the youth of this era has turned to be more successful than the generation 20 years ago in their age. As parents have shown confidence in their children more as compared to the parents, two decades ago, the relationship between them have also improved. A recent research concluded that the number of people in old age homes has dipped by 17% as compared to twenty years ago. Additionally, as guardians have started regarding their children, the children have also turned more solicitous about their progenitors. In conclusion, owing to the independence given to the offspring by their parents as compared to past, children have shown confidence in themselves and it has resulted in being more successful than any other generation. Not only this, but this change has also improved the understanding among guardians and offspring and today they share a stronger bond than those couple of decades ago.
It
is believed
that progenitors are more liberal towards their minors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
be earlier. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and this essay will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their offspring benefits
because of this
transition.

First
and foremost, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
these days have shown belief and have become more flexible towards the career options of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
confidence to the child to choose better. They have grown courageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that if something goes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will always back them.
Therefore
, they are able to take more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offbeat job options and pursue their dream careers such as of becoming a dancer, singer or sports person which was rare in the past as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
forcefully
put into engineering or
Possible spelling mistake found.
MBBS
colleges by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Consequently
, the youth of this era has turned to be more successful than the generation 20 years ago in their age.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have shown confidence in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, two decades ago, the relationship between them have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. A recent research concluded that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes has dipped by 17% as compared to twenty years ago.
Additionally
, as guardians have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
also
turned more solicitous about their progenitors.

In conclusion
, owing to the independence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the offspring by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as compared to past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have shown confidence in themselves and it has resulted in being more successful than any other generation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the understanding among guardians and offspring and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
they share a stronger bond than those couple of decades ago.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts