Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that money can make life easier and more comfortable. But others say that having a great amount of wealth can bring some problems. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of a having a lot of money? v.1

Some people say that money can make life easier and more comfortable. But others say that having a great amount of wealth can bring some problems. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of a having a lot of money? v. 1
Determining how money influences our lives has evolved as a controversial topic. This essay will discuss both the benefits and challenges of have a wealthy account. First and foremost, there is consensus that money lays the foundation of a comfortable life. Indeed, possessing a high and stable income facilitate people take into account many items, making their life more joyful, healthy and memorable. For example, while a middle-class family is busy making a living to ensure a decent life, an upper-class one can go further for an expensive trip, a splendid racing car or an advance healthcare service. In other words, it is not exaggerated to claim that a great amount of wealth is a tool for a high level of both physical and mental betterment. On the other hand, an excessive load of money also leads to many problems. In particular, prosperity, which usually acts as the result of a long or even painful accumulation, is often misunderstood as a reflection of inequality by a number of pessimists, leading to dissatisfaction and envy. As a consequence, the rich are more likely to be the target of abhorrent conspiracies as well as family conflicts. Another drawback is when the desire of getting wealthy is taken into extreme; a person is lured to commit various crimes. Last but not least, instant wealth also can be detrimental, especially when people are not equipped with sufficient skills and knowledge. Young inheritors, for instance, may be unable to cope with an abundant asset and tend to misuse money to indulge themselves in several nasty needs. To sum up, personal wealth, with all its merit and demerits, can be deemed as a double-edged sword that may facilitate or harm our lives. Thus, it is suggested that while pursuing wealth to increase their living standard, people should be fully aware of all the pitfalls and unhappiness that are associated with money.
Determining how
money
influences our
lives
has evolved as a controversial topic. This essay will discuss both the benefits and challenges of have a wealthy account.

First
and foremost, there is consensus that
money
lays the foundation of a comfortable life.
Indeed
, possessing a high and stable income facilitate
people
take into account
many
items, making their life more joyful, healthy and memorable.
For example
, while a middle-
class
family is busy making a living to ensure a decent life, an upper-
class
one can go
further
for an expensive trip, a splendid racing car or an advance healthcare service.
In other words
, it is not exaggerated to claim that a great amount of
wealth
is a tool for a high level of both physical and mental betterment.

On the other hand
, an excessive load of
money
also
leads to
many
problems.
In particular
, prosperity, which
usually
acts as the result of a long or even painful accumulation, is
often
misunderstood as a reflection of inequality by a number of pessimists, leading to dissatisfaction and envy. As a consequence, the rich are more likely to be the target of abhorrent conspiracies
as well
as family conflicts. Another drawback is when the desire of getting wealthy
is taken
into extreme; a person
is lured
to commit various crimes. Last
but
not least, instant
wealth
also
can be detrimental,
especially
when
people
are not equipped with sufficient
skills
and knowledge. Young inheritors,
for instance
, may be unable to cope with an abundant asset and tend to misuse
money
to indulge themselves in several nasty needs.

To sum up, personal
wealth
, with all its merit and demerits, can
be deemed
as a double-edged sword that may facilitate or harm our
lives
.
Thus
, it
is suggested
that while pursuing
wealth
to increase their living standard,
people
should be
fully
aware of all the pitfalls and unhappiness that
are associated
with
money
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that money can make life easier and more comfortable. But others say that having a great amount of wealth can bring some problems. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of a having a lot of money? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts