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The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. v. 3
Nowadays, technology has dominated almost all aspects of human' s lives and among all these developments space programs had an enormous quote of governments' money and they are grouped as expensive research programs. It is believed by a group of people that it would be better to spend this amount of money on public services such as schools and hospitals. I believe advantages of spending money on public programs by far outweigh the disadvantages and this will be discussed. Spending money on public services should bring lots of profits for the residents of an area. Firstly, accessing to schools that are very well equipped with educational facilities such as labs, sport facilities and the like is indispensable for the young generations who will be the future authorities of the world. Besides, all people should access free and appropriate health services and government authorities should provide people with this social welfare. Moreover, space programs are very expensive, time consuming and they do not directly benefit most people. On the other hand, the importance of space programs should not be neglected since it would open doors to better achievements about space and cosmos; furthermore, it is quite feasible for people to form a colony on other planets in the near future. In addition, through these researches scientists can acquire information about the probability of finding water or oxygen on other planets which can be beneficial. To sum up, although all the residents of the world are entitled to access a decent education and healthcare service, government should devote some amount of money to do researches in different fields. Consequently, fellows will be satisfy with the result of the science investigations and meanwhile they will enjoy the social services they receive.
Nowadays, technology has dominated almost all aspects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and among all these developments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
had an enormous quote of
Possible spelling mistake found.
governments&
#039;
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they
are grouped
as expensive research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. It
is believed
by a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that it would be better to spend this amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as schools and hospitals. I believe advantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
by far outweigh the disadvantages and this will
be discussed
.

Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should bring lots of profits for the residents of an area.
Firstly
, accessing to schools that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
with educational facilities such as labs, sport facilities and the like is indispensable for the young generations who will be the future authorities of the world.
Besides
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should access free and appropriate health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with this social welfare.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and they do not
directly
benefit most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
should not
be neglected
since it would open doors to better achievements about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and cosmos;
furthermore
, it is quite feasible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to form a colony on other planets in the near future.
In addition
, through these researches scientists can acquire information about the probability of finding water or oxygen on other planets which can be beneficial.

To sum up, although all the residents of the world
are entitled
to access a decent education and healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should devote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do researches in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
Consequently
, fellows will be
Consider using the past participle "satisfied"?
satisfy
with the result of the science investigations and meanwhile they will enjoy the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
they receive.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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