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In many parts of the world, people search for family history. Some people think that finding for the previous generations is a thing to do, but others think that it is better to be focus on present and future generations. Discuss both views and show your v.2

In many parts of the world, people search for family history. Some people think that finding for the previous generations is a thing to do, but others think that it is better to be focus on present and future generations. 2
A majority of people believes that searching for family history is critical while the other supposed that it is the present and future generations are what should be focus on. There are a great deal of contrasting idea on this issue. To begin with, finding for the previous generations is good, but living with that past is not. Peole cannot influnce the past, whereas present and future are what human can affected and changed. If only focusing in the history but forgetting the reality, the future will not be the same. There are many cases when people are so obsessed with the family history, and resulted in ignoring the present and future. Because of that reason, people should not regard the previous generations and abandon the others. On the other hand, history is something that is bounded within each person and cannot be denied. Knowing about the previous generations of the family is the way of keeping on the traditional values, and mental values. For example, handmade latern from China is an extraodinary work of art, and the secret of making the latern is descended by generations up to now. Therefore, if there is no curious about this secret, nobody learnt from the previous generations, then the method of making traditional Chinese latern would be passed away. Furthermore, by learning from the past, human will gain experience and may not make a same mistake. In conclusion, I deem that it is important to know about past generation, but it does not mean obsessing with the history and neglecting the present and the future.
A majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that searching for family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is critical while the other supposed that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations are what should be focus on. There are a great
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deals"?
deal
of contrasting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, finding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
generations is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
living with that
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past
is not.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Peole
cannot
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
are what human can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
forgetting the reality, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will not be the same. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
obsessed with the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, and resulted in ignoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that reason,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not regard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
generations and abandon the others.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is something that
is bounded
within each person and cannot
be denied
. Knowing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
generations of the family is the way of keeping on the traditional values, and mental values.
For example
, handmade
Possible spelling mistake found.
latern
from China is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
extraodinary
work of art, and the secret of making the
Possible spelling mistake found.
latern
is descended
by generations up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Therefore
, if there is no curious about this secret, nobody
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
generations, then the method of making traditional Chinese
Possible spelling mistake found.
latern
would
be passed
away.
Furthermore
, by learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, human will gain experience and may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a same mistake.

In conclusion
, I deem that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean obsessing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and neglecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the world, people search for family history. Some people think that finding for the previous generations is a thing to do, but others think that it is better to be focus on present and future generations. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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